alia666

I almost wish my birthday wouldn't come.

It's been nothing but a huge disappointment. At first I thought I was going to get a new tattoo for my birthday. I was so excited. I had the design picked out and everything and I couldn't wait because I love getting new tattoos. And then the person who was getting it for me ended up not having the money. Which isn't their fault, but it was a big let down. And now my feelings have been really, really hurt because someone who I considered a really good friend that I hadn't spent any time with lately bailed on me. It's like my list of people whom I mean anything to is getting shorter and shorter. He promised me that he would come see me for my birthday. And last night he IMed me to tell me that he wasn't sure if he could come or not because he didn't want to deal with parking here. Fuck him. He has turned into such an asshole. We used to mean so much to each other, and now he only comes when he wants something. I'm so sick of him using me over and over again. If I'm not important to him anymore, then he should just leave me alone. But I know that I'll always let him come around when he needs something from me, because I want so badly for things to be the way they used to with us. But they won't be, because he's not the person I loved anymore. He's just like everyone else now, and we always told each other we would never do that.

And on top of it all, I'm just really depressed. It's like I have a series of amazing days where I feel great and then go on a four day crying jag,

On the upside though, either tonight or tomorrow night I'm shooting a set to send into SG.