I was reading through my Live Journal this morning. I ran across a post that I wrote back in 2004. For some reason I got the urge to share it.
Warning this is REALLY REALLY LONG.
Warning this is REALLY REALLY LONG.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I still haven't found a solution to my dilemma. Meditation last night was relaxing, however, it failed to bring me any insight. That in itself is probably a failing of my own, and I will learn from it. I'm feeling uninspired today. I'm sitting at work, waiting for a possible sale to walk up.
I have "Defend Your Castle" running on the computer right now. People are so adamant about the violence in Video Games, yet the overlook the underground that provides such ruthless games to the public for free. As I sit here the game is running on auto-pilot. I have my team built up so much that I don't even need the window open, my team will simply win without my assistance. The rate of killing in this game needs to be measured in Kills Per Second.
Right now I have, 10,600 Kills, I'll count them for a minute and see what the Kills Per Second ratio is. 320 kills per minute, that means that this game is moving at a rate of 5.3 Kills Per Second. Every second 5 or so faceless stick figures are wiped from the face of the virtual planet, each sacrificing his life to attack a castle in a meaningless display of aggression. And I don't even need to open the game window to watch it happen. It's sad how digital media emulates the real world so easily.
For example, the other day I am in Blockbuster, and while browsing the "Comedy" section I notice George Orwell's Animal Farm. This movie is obviously not a "Comedy", however, it contains talking animals. This alone is the reason why it is placed with other movies containing "fictitious humor". It is ironic that people so readily dismiss a movie that emulates human action as a comedy.
At 12,500 Kills I am starting to wonder if my current situation is emulating another part of life. I know that the white stick figures will continually throw themselves against the defense of my black stick figures. This loss of life means nothing to me, or to the little black and white stick figures.
But the game wasn't always this way, was it? No when it first started I had no team, I had to take personal interest in throwing each of the enemy soldiers to their deaths. But over time I learned how to convert the enemy soldiers to my side, by teaching them my teams religious beliefs. Then I learned how to train them in Archery, and Magic, and how to repair my Castle. I even trained some of them as fanatics who will strap explosives to their bodies and run out to detonate themselves among the enemy forces.
And after a while there was no need for me to take personal interest in the battle raging outside my castle. My little converts will shed the blood of my enemies until the soil is red and the ground is covered with their fallen bodies. And its not the the enemy doesn't try, his offensive tactics get better. But not at the same rate at which my defense evolves. So his more highly trained soldiers don't even get the respectable personal death touch that I gave to their earlier comrades. After a while I start to become selective with my conversions, I only choose those enemy soldiers who make it to the gates of my Castle as "worthy" of being converted to my side. 15,000 Kills later I don't even bother converting them anymore. I have no need to further boast my defenses. So those enemies who run at my castle don't even have a possible conversion to look forward to.
After such a long time it stops looking like enemy soldiers attacking my castle. Sure the little soldiers run up to the gates of my castle and beat on it with their hands. But they no longer look like soldiers. With bodies exploding left and right around them, the 2 or 3 who get to the gates look more like refugees beating against the door of salvation. But even those who survive long enough to bang on the door are destroyed mere moments after they reach it.
What began as a simple war where I was defending my own land, has become a slaughter. Where I seek only to destroy as many of my enemies as I can. To raise my kill count as high as it possibly can get. But at 16,250 kills the question is, when did it become a slaughter? When did I stop defending my castle and start attacking the soldiers running at it? Why don't the attacking armies stop? What is so bad that it drives them to a certain death against my castle walls?
Perhaps the answers to these questions are the same ones we should be asking ourselves.
I have "Defend Your Castle" running on the computer right now. People are so adamant about the violence in Video Games, yet the overlook the underground that provides such ruthless games to the public for free. As I sit here the game is running on auto-pilot. I have my team built up so much that I don't even need the window open, my team will simply win without my assistance. The rate of killing in this game needs to be measured in Kills Per Second.
Right now I have, 10,600 Kills, I'll count them for a minute and see what the Kills Per Second ratio is. 320 kills per minute, that means that this game is moving at a rate of 5.3 Kills Per Second. Every second 5 or so faceless stick figures are wiped from the face of the virtual planet, each sacrificing his life to attack a castle in a meaningless display of aggression. And I don't even need to open the game window to watch it happen. It's sad how digital media emulates the real world so easily.
For example, the other day I am in Blockbuster, and while browsing the "Comedy" section I notice George Orwell's Animal Farm. This movie is obviously not a "Comedy", however, it contains talking animals. This alone is the reason why it is placed with other movies containing "fictitious humor". It is ironic that people so readily dismiss a movie that emulates human action as a comedy.
At 12,500 Kills I am starting to wonder if my current situation is emulating another part of life. I know that the white stick figures will continually throw themselves against the defense of my black stick figures. This loss of life means nothing to me, or to the little black and white stick figures.
But the game wasn't always this way, was it? No when it first started I had no team, I had to take personal interest in throwing each of the enemy soldiers to their deaths. But over time I learned how to convert the enemy soldiers to my side, by teaching them my teams religious beliefs. Then I learned how to train them in Archery, and Magic, and how to repair my Castle. I even trained some of them as fanatics who will strap explosives to their bodies and run out to detonate themselves among the enemy forces.
And after a while there was no need for me to take personal interest in the battle raging outside my castle. My little converts will shed the blood of my enemies until the soil is red and the ground is covered with their fallen bodies. And its not the the enemy doesn't try, his offensive tactics get better. But not at the same rate at which my defense evolves. So his more highly trained soldiers don't even get the respectable personal death touch that I gave to their earlier comrades. After a while I start to become selective with my conversions, I only choose those enemy soldiers who make it to the gates of my Castle as "worthy" of being converted to my side. 15,000 Kills later I don't even bother converting them anymore. I have no need to further boast my defenses. So those enemies who run at my castle don't even have a possible conversion to look forward to.
After such a long time it stops looking like enemy soldiers attacking my castle. Sure the little soldiers run up to the gates of my castle and beat on it with their hands. But they no longer look like soldiers. With bodies exploding left and right around them, the 2 or 3 who get to the gates look more like refugees beating against the door of salvation. But even those who survive long enough to bang on the door are destroyed mere moments after they reach it.
What began as a simple war where I was defending my own land, has become a slaughter. Where I seek only to destroy as many of my enemies as I can. To raise my kill count as high as it possibly can get. But at 16,250 kills the question is, when did it become a slaughter? When did I stop defending my castle and start attacking the soldiers running at it? Why don't the attacking armies stop? What is so bad that it drives them to a certain death against my castle walls?
Perhaps the answers to these questions are the same ones we should be asking ourselves.
Aside from that I hope everyone has a fantastic day.
-Everything I tell you is a Lie-
Alex Star
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Better?
I only update a few times a month with a few sentences now, though. It makes me sad to think of how much I stopped doing what I love.