alexis

Mini-Update on Wednesday Night, September 14th, 2004:

This is the extra dirty version of the to-do/not-to-do list in bed:

I. Thou may speak simpsons references as dirty talk.
II. Thou must not have smelly balls, and must wash before recieving oral sex.
III. Thou must allow Fat Kitty to sleep in the bed.
IV. Thou may not use sex toys on me unless you use them on yourself too.
V. Thou may not allow other girls into the bed unless I pick them.
VI. Thou may re-enact the food scene with me in 'Dont be a menace in South Central while drinking your juice in the hood'.
VII. Thou may not re-enact the scene in 'Irreversible'.
VIII. Thou may not put in my butt unless I wave you in first.
IX. Thou may not laugh when I make a pussy queef.
X. Thou may not kiss and tell.

xoxo me

Old update on September 8.

Something I learned from Jenna Jameson is to keep a list of 10 Commandments of dealbreaks.

Consider these things not-to-do if you want to be with me.

I. Thou must have a nice sized package.
II. Thou shalt not live in his mommas basement or be someone's father.
III. Thou must talk to my momma about Jesus.
IV. Though shalt not ask me to stop smoking, drinking, or masturbating.
V. Thou may fart, belch, or scratch his nuts in front of me, but not until after we've had sex.
VI. Thou shalt not wear more makeup, or use more hair products than I do.
VII. Thou may have either cats or a big stupid dog.
VIII. Thou may not have more tattoos than me.
IX. Thou must love macintoshs.
X.Thou may put it in my butt, but thou is not allowed to do ATM.

xoxo alexis