As I continue to avoid writing this paper, which I already have fully outlined and over half written (not sure why I can't just finish it), I once again feel it impressed upon myself to share something with whoever reads this.
Since losing my job I have spent many countless hours asking myself "why". Considering the fact that maybe I wasn't good enough or they didn't like me. Now, I must say that I was transitioned out, not fired. But the fact was that I did not want to leave, merely shared that I was going to pursue a new venture which would take some time before I began it and they decided to find someone to replace me. This has left me wondering why and without full reconciliation. What I have learned in this time is that sometimes, you may not get the answers you want and that is ok.
We can't spent all of our time dwelling in the moment and letting it control us. It is like a poison that will seep in to your bones and destroy you from the inside out. It makes you weak and at times I have personally not felt like pressing on. Heck, I've even thought about ending it all. But when rationale and logic sets in, I begin to see clearly. I am the type of person that cares about people but I have learned and am still learning that people will not always react they way I desire. I can only treat people the way I want to be treated, but I cannot control others and have them respond how I'd like. But that is ok.
So, what is the point of all of this? I am not a bad person, I didn't fail. Even if I did, that is ok. Failure is a part of life and it is necessary for growth. Sometimes we need to try even if we don't think we can succeed. But if we do succeed then it's worth it. If we don't, we learn and grow stronger and are prepared for next time.
To all those facing hard times, don't give up or give in. Life isn't easy, somedays it is. Other's it is not. But no one ever promised that it would be. There is hope, there is a light, no matter how dim or dismal it may be. Hold on and press forward. If you can't or don't feel like you can anymore, Lean on a shoulder and ask for help. There is no weakness in asking for help.
So, that's my two cents. back to my school work.
