There are a lot of good things going on, but even in the midst of all of this, I still feel hopeless and insignificant. I feel like a mediocre father and a lacking husband. It is a day in which I can barely muster a smile or happy thought. I feel that I can't move forward or look up to see the light. No matter what I do, working out, running, drawing, I can't shake these feelings of hurt and pain. I feel a lack of love even though I know I am loved.
I don't mean to sound so dark and dismal, but I have a feeling I am not the only one out there feeling like this. Does it get better? They tell me it will and that it is getting better. But no matter how positive I try to remain, I just feel that there is a chain tied around my neck dragging me deeper and deeper in to despair.
Maybe it's because I try to take the world on all at once. One good thing happens but my mind immediately shifts to the next 2 or 3 things coming at me and how I will tackle those. For example, I just bought a house, my first house. This is a momentous and joyous celebration. But my mind immediately goes to all the packing, cleaning, costs and tasks that need to be done before I can enjoy being in my new house. Some people love the strategic thinkers, but in the right situation.
I guess, the golden nugget to take from all of this is that I need to not be so serious. I need to step back and enjoy the moment. You know what, it's ok to enjoy things in life. Life is not about moving from one task to the next. It is about completing the task, enjoying your hard work's results and then tackling the next thing. It is also remember that you do not have to go this alone, there are others around you who can help and plan and execute.
So, I guess this was a pep talk to myself, maybe to someone else teetering on the edge of hopelessness and despair. Now, the big question is, will I take my own advice? Will you take the advice given herein and let it encourage you? I am finding more and more that my greatest joy in life comes from helping others in their time of hurt and pain. So, let's look up together and press forward. Let's step back from that ledge and fight on and celebrate the good in front of us.
