alexandra

i'm sitting on my floor studying for my first real exam, which is at 11:30. through the wall suddenly comes a sad song that i used to sing to my best friend over the phone when i first came to college and i lived in a tiny cramped dorm room with my roommate who thought abraham lincoln had been a power-hungry tyrant.

you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

this was the best friend who i bought a hundred dollar greyhound ticket, just so that he could come see me, even though that was a full two weeks paycheck for me, since work study only paid 5.50 an hour and we were so overstaffed that i could only work 10 hours a week.

i miss him a lot. as though that weren't apparent.

.

but aside from annoying nextdoor neighbors and their sappy music, i'm feeling pretty good this morning. i spent two and a half hours studying for this exam with a bunch of friends last night. i have confidence in my ability to at least get this right. (everything else i have done so far has either been late or hasn't met the page requirement. oops.)

additionally, spring finals always make me feel hopeful because they mean that summer is just a few days away. every spring i plan out what i am going to do with myself all summer. i make promises to myself about accomplishing a lot and being healthy and having fun. it's like new years for me.

i haven't had much of a chance yet to map out what i want to do all summer, but i'm already taking better care of myself: locking myself in the bathroom and pampering my poor little body, which is exhausted from the hell i've put it through for the past year. i'm going to stop being so hard on myself, i swear.

.

final note: seattle in mid-may? i want to go so badly!