I just started a intro to American politics class and let me tell you I have the biggest crush on my professor. I tried googling the shit out of him to find out more about him and the not creepiest way possible but his name is James Smith and that is a common fucking name. At the same time of pondering my future life with James Smith phd, I think about how old little I have to truly offer anybody. I'm a single-parent with a criminal record currently serving house arrest. I know soon enough I won't be on house arrest anymore but I'll still be a single parent with the criminal record and it makes me wonder if anybody will be willing to look beyond that to have a relationship with me.
Also Jared called me today and told me that he definitely has another daughter and I knew he did and I knew he was full of shit when he told me that the DNA test came back one time positive and one time negative. I much more over that than I was when she initially told me a few months ago but now I'm just a bit resentful that I have to spend the rest of my life connected to some other woman that I know nothing about just because we happen to have the same " babys dad"
I haven't had a relationship in a long time and I think ultimately I'm just very lonely and I think deep down I feel like there something wrong with me that I'm alone that I am not somebody that has anything to offer anybody and that's why I'm alone and not because I choose to be alone
