Thanks to everyone who has shown concern about my current emotional slump. I feel extra horrible during this episode because my life is going swimmingly. I have a beautiful girl, who is a year and a half old today!, I am doing very well in school, I am lucky enough to be financially stable and have a home and car thats paid for. The more I take classes for psychology, my intended major, the more I realize the signs of a downward spiral, which helps me brace myself, but I can't stop it from happening. The past two days I've been in this manic stage almost. I have been obsessively cleaning, working out, not sleeping and I don't even feel tired. So in lieu of all this uncontrollable unnecessary crying , I made an appointment with an actual psychologist. One of my biggest issues is that I internalize literally everything. I have the hardest time talking to people I care about when life is not going so well. Part of it is that my dad does not understand depression at all. He just said "I don't have to be depressed". Well guess what, NEITHER DO I!!! I haven't met one person that's been like "depression is great! it doesn't negatively affect my life at all!"
Being overwhelmed with life and everything, I think I'm taking the summer session off school and moving to my mom's apartment in Chicago for the month of July. It will be a nice change of scenery, I'll be there by myself, and there's room for Elise. I'm just hoping to snap out of this shit, because when I get depressed I feel like I fall into such depths that most people don't even know how dark of a place I live in.
Abernathy is still in member review. It has over 900 comments and 97% love, (a BIG thank you to everyone who taken the time to comment on it). With all the competition with both hopefuls and SGs, I have a big feeling this set will not make me pink. But I am beyond proud of the pictures. I had had a baby one year prior to shooting with Alissa, and although I was about 20 pounds heavier than I was used to seeing myself, I felt HOT, and I guess wanted to prove that a single new mom in a nowheresville Indiana town can make her dreams come true, even at the age of 24. Regardless of what The Council decides to do with my set, at the time I gave it my all, and will always think this set made me look stunning.
Sorry for the chapter book.
By the way.... I'm dark brown again!!!!!!
Being overwhelmed with life and everything, I think I'm taking the summer session off school and moving to my mom's apartment in Chicago for the month of July. It will be a nice change of scenery, I'll be there by myself, and there's room for Elise. I'm just hoping to snap out of this shit, because when I get depressed I feel like I fall into such depths that most people don't even know how dark of a place I live in.
Abernathy is still in member review. It has over 900 comments and 97% love, (a BIG thank you to everyone who taken the time to comment on it). With all the competition with both hopefuls and SGs, I have a big feeling this set will not make me pink. But I am beyond proud of the pictures. I had had a baby one year prior to shooting with Alissa, and although I was about 20 pounds heavier than I was used to seeing myself, I felt HOT, and I guess wanted to prove that a single new mom in a nowheresville Indiana town can make her dreams come true, even at the age of 24. Regardless of what The Council decides to do with my set, at the time I gave it my all, and will always think this set made me look stunning.
Sorry for the chapter book.
By the way.... I'm dark brown again!!!!!!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
i think the hardest part is knowing that you still are going to have shit days, because everyone does! but we've got to not let one bad day turn into a bad week, or month.