alcoholiv

ive been having a really hard time dealing with this.
it became really real yesterday when his obituary was in the newspaper. then today, they wrote an article about him. about how he used to go see EFS play. about going to see the sox. all these things that i used to do with him. and now he's gone. it's so unreal. i miss him so much already that i can hardly stand it. all i can do is cry. he was in so much pain at the end. it's not fair. it's not fair that someone with a true heart, with nothing but the best intentions, could suffer so much at the end of their life.

today i have to find clothes to wear to his funeral.
i cant believe this is happening.