alaynah

i feel like i have been kicked in the teeth. i believe this hurricane business has been one of the most draining experiences i have had to deal with this year. this city has fallen apart, resources are gone, spirits are low and personally, my will has been broken. whatever, my problem, not yours...moving on.

i am in a horrid mood, sobering up after a long night of drinking and scrabble. i'm fighting off sleep to talk to the morning friends i so desperately miss, unfortunately the pickled remains of my brain is lacking any words worth saying. sleep must be soon to come.

this continuous drinking has a great deal to do with the approaching dates. october means a few things for me. oct 1st is my 22nd birthday, nothing special about this age, just another year.
more importantly, this time of year leaves me thinking non stop about one person. one of the handful of memories i carry around from my youth, my last birthday with my father. my 5th birthday was spent in the hospital conference room in witchta falls. he was too sick to leave so we went there. there were bubbles, a cake, a hospital gown on a shriveled man looking 3 times his age, and the skates. the skates he gave me haunt me. how silly.
i was writing this, and at the moment i realized i was crying i also realized i left my camera on in chat. woops.
anywho
the skates, are the brightest memory i have. mine had blue straps, not leather, but heres a picture....



so these are on my mind. he is on my mind. i keep walking around holding his drum sticks, wearing his t shirts, i would be wearing the skates if i still owned them. i guess another girl with daddy issues, whats new right.
tears

sorry...i was sad...it came out here. don't mind me.