I hate this shit
she: so now that you've been here twice and met my children, what do you think?
she: are you still into me?
me: hmm. I *really* like you and your girls are terrific, but I don't see myself moving to Raleigh.
me: one, i really love working for docucorp, and i don't think i've ever said that about a company before
me: and to show their love, they just gave me a bonus.
[long pause]
me: now you hate me
[longer pause]
she: no i don't hate you. i love you. i'm very hurt.
me: I'm so sorry
she: i can't give you a bonus, and i don't want to have to, either.
me: the job's only one thing. i can't see myself being the father
she: you're just not into me, and i need to move on.
she: take care of yourself
me: you too
she: bye
me: bye
We only saw each other for two weekends. Why do I feel so friggin' rotten? Why did she have to get so into me that quickly? Why can't I just be some cold motherfucker? Why am I crying when I got what I was looking for?
I fuckin' hate hurting people who don't deserve it.
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as anyone who knows me well knows, i moved in with sniggitysnags the day after we met, and two days later i told him i loved him. thats four days, the same as two weekends, but neither ones of us has ever been so gut wrenchingly and totally in love before this.
that being said, the first year was very very very hard! he and i both dealt with issues; he was in college and i wasnt, so i dealt with a lot of isolation/depression. and to this day it is still hard! everything that we do together has to be completely a compromise, even our hopes and dreams and aspirations.
that was a tangent but it was to prove a point. if you absolutely feel in your gut, in your soul, in every waking moment that you should be with her, you probably should. you could be giving up something incredible that you will kick yourself for forever. that being said, that doesnt mean totally give up everything you have; it means find a compromise.
if you can find a compromise, anything is possible.
good luck.
She has kids involved and it is better to stop than give false hope.
Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!