akirali

For 8 out of the last 21 years, we have walked the Mackinac Bridge in St. Ignace on Labor Day. Today I promised Kate that we will do it again 365 days from now.

Dave told Kate to make today a "talking" day. She obliged. She spoke several words and phrases and made sounds all day long. She shook her head yes and no appropriately, too. While talking to Nick on the phone she said "Ok," and during a call from Jared, she grabbed the phone and held it for two minutes, making sounds the whole time.

Lunch was not as successful. Kate had her first tray...pureed squash, mystery meat, mashed potatoes, tomato soup and a pear.

She spit it all out.

She only wants ice cream, sherbet and yogurt.

Mom Angie

The way the Chief told me, the story goes like this.

This guy, I think it was another Indian guy... he was a good guy, but I think he had some problems in the past. Maybe he got in trouble with the law a bit here and there. Maybe he had a rough childhood. Or maybe he fell in with the wrong crowd... Or maybe he just felt like he wasn't living up to his potential for whatever reason.

And in describing his inner struggles, he says to the Chief, "There are two dogs inside of me. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."

And when I heard that, I really understood this guy. I knew that the one dog was like your dreams and good intentions. He is full of purpose . And order. He maybe represents your respect for others and your respect for yourself. Respect for what you can be if you put your heart into it.

And the other dog... he has no respect for anything. He's like a rabid beast. Crazy and self-indulgent. He blames everyone else for his sickness. He lashes out at every opportunity. He loves nothing but wallowing in the hot darkness of his anger.

So someone asks this guy, this Indian guy a question. Someone asks him which dog usually wins. And the guy sort of looks down and thinks about it for a while. He doesn't say anything for a long time. And then after a moment's reflection he answers. He says this. he says "The dog that wins is the one that I feed the most."

I've had a lot of things happen in my life that could be viewed as setbacks. Perhaps you could say I was abused. Manipulated. I've had other people do things to me to hurt me. To hurt those I've cared about.

And the more I've focused on that part, and blamed others for the situations that I was in, or what was done to me, or focused on revenge: The more I found that I was a prisoner of those things. Like my own body was a cage of razor blades. That story of blame and cycle of fear and anger was the story that I was enacting.

But when I learned to shed the dents to my ego, and to focus on a sense of purpose and the good that I have experianced, I found that became my reality. That sense or purpose and positive intentions became the story that I was enacting.

[T]he man that told the story to the Chief... The chief said that man died not long after.

And I thought, here's a guy that figured it out. Figured out a major law of nature. The part of you that thrives is the part that you feed the most. Some people never understand that. They live their whole lives putting the blame on something. This guy realized it. But he didn't follow through. And he died before he could apply it.

I used to be a real jerk. A real jerk. I'm still a jerk. And sometimes the mean dog still wins. But that story lit a fire under my butt. And at least made me try my hardest to cultivate the potential that some people were able to see in me.