akirali

You know that trepidation you have when several things are either going wrong or on the cusp of going wrong? Is there a word for the complete opposite of that state? If so, that's the word that would describe my life right now. Many balls are in the air and being juggled, and almost all of them are progressing positively. This is exhilaratingly and unsettling at the same time. I'm not success phobic, just a student of history. And the last few years haven't been too good for me, so any shift in the status quo is quite unexpected.

I think a lot of it has to do with something I told a cab driver Friday night. He was telling me that people will use and hurt you if you give them a chance. I told him that I don't believe that's necessarily the case. He asked my age and I told him I was 26. He replied that I was still young and still had plenty of time to learn lessons the hard way. I thought about it for a second and I told him that I spent, pretty much, the last 5 years or so of my life as a cynical bitter fuck (as more than a few of you can attest to, I'm sure). But now, I'm realizing how much of my life I wasted by being cynical and not opening myself up to new experiences.

Now, none of this is to say that I am perfect by any means. I'm quite far from it actually. But Striving for Perfection is more than just the intro to Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. It can also be a way of life if you let it.

I'm tired and I have a (relatively) early morning.