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akirali

West Philadelphia, born & raised.

Member Since 2003

Followers 92 Following 147

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Wednesday Feb 15, 2006

Feb 15, 2006
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Look honey everybody needs a help-up buddy
Nobody's drug-free, the streets would be hella bloody


-Panic Attack: Atmosphere

Hearing those lyrics yesterday as well as having a conversation with a friend about medication got me to thinking about the ways we all cope and deal with anything. I dont take any prescription drugs but that doesnt mean that I dont self medicate in other ways. My drugs are books, DVDs, music and games. It may sound foolish, but its true.

Earlier this week I was feeling very aggressive, anxious and even a little depressed. So instead of just breathing deeply and trying to get the feelings to pass, I read Garth Ennis & Steve Dillons entire first year of The Punisher. Once I was finished with that, I went home and fired up my PS2 to stage a siege on Fisk Enterprises as The Punisher in the eponymous game. After about an hour of blowing away commandos and Yakuza, I felt better, more centered. How is this any different from taking an anti-depressant to level me out? When I feel really depressed and angry, I pop on Circle of Tyrants and live vicariously through scenes of murder, maiming and mayhem. When I feel like my love life is in tatters, I read some old issues of Daredevil. Preferably the arc when his first love dies in his arms, and he has a breakdown that leads to him ruining the life of his current girlfriend just so she has no choice but to marry him (DD can be a fucking jerk). Reading that, I realize that much of the drama is self-inflicted, and my life is not nearly as bad as I make it out to be in my own mind. This cheers me up and lifts my spirits a bit. Same difference, no?

I (rather subconsciously) use forms of entertainment as mood stabilizers. Games, movies, music and books all affect my minds chemistry in some way and work similar to drugs to try and get me back to normal. Now, Im not saying that this is the only reason that I enjoy these forms of entertainment, far from it. I enjoy a good movie, game or song as much as the next person. But it does seem as though they can help me work towards a goal.

Is anyone else medicating themselves in similar ways?

Todays meds are:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)













VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
dragonflycq:
Psst...I'll be here Saturday. You'll kick yourself in the ass if you don't come!!! wink

More info here.

biggrin
Feb 16, 2006
ghost_dance:
If I'm beginning to wig out a little, I'll sometimes just stay in for a few days and watch movies or completely nerd out on the web, Most of this week I've been coming home from work and watching Firefly and not calling anyone or going out.
Feb 16, 2006

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