As promised, here are my tops in the world of entertainment for 2005. Leave your thoughts, arguments, agreements, or tongue-lashings in my comments. Be warned. This is a long ass entry, no matter which section you read...
Movies of the Year
Movies of the Year
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
5. Constantine: Yes, Im a comic book geek, so this is the first of a couple of comic book movies on my list. However, this movie has almost nothing to do with its source material, but it works anyway. No he isnt blond or a Brit. No he isnt as much of an asshole or trickster either, but John Constantine was the main character in one of only two movies I saw more than twice in the theaters this year. What I loved most about this movie, aside from the cast (I actually like Keanu; and Peter Stormmare & Tilda Sweeton were incredible in their roles) was the subject matter and how it was handled. Quite often in films about the occult, half of the film is spent explaining the whos whats whys and hows. In this film they just went with it. No unnecessary exposition, no explanations of things that the characters should already have intimate knowledge of, the just did it. A perfect example is a scene in which Constantine lights a rag on fire and the resulting blast destroys a pack of demons hunting him. Why did lighting a simple rag decimate the soldiers of Hell? I have a better question, why would someone in that situation waste precious time explaining why it worked? He knew it would work so he did it. By the way, a little extra-curricular research on my part found that the rag was actually a piece of Moses burial shroud, and was a very holy relic that proved deadly to the demons. But the fact that they didnt stop the film in its tracks to explain what it was and why it worked lent to the authenticity and reality of the world. If this was the real world, who would spend time explaining all the minutia of the relics and artifacts? It makes for a multi-layer film that offers something new upon each viewing.
4. Serenity: This was the year I became a Whedonite. After years of friends begging me to start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer this was the year I relented and started watching. I became an addict almost instantly. However, even with 3 seasons of Buffy under my belt, I had still never seen a single episode of Firefly. Once I walked out of the theater at the end of Serenity I wanted to rectify that immediately. This film was the epitome of what made sci-fi fun for me when I was growing up; unbridled imagination, incredible adventures, and human characters. None of the brooding, philosophical monologs of much recent sci-fi (as much as I loved them, Matrix Trilogy and Star Wars Prequels, Im looking in your directions). This film was just all out fun. Remember when you were 10 and watched the Millennium Falcon speeding past asteroids? Remember watching Luke and Leia blast their way out of the Death Star? Remember how it was fun and exciting? That is exactly how this movie feels. Coupled with Joss Whedons always snappy and smart writing and 3-dimentional characterization you have one of the most flat-out fun sci-fi movies in years.
3. Sin City: Oh my lord! What more can be said of this, the best comic book movie of the year? This film is bonafide proof that the greatest trick of movie magic is the fact that under the right circumstances a film can not only be more than the sum of its parts, but it can tower over them. Some of the hammiest acting ever (and I mean that as a compliment) crashes head-on into ultra-violence, unapologetic sexuality and hard-boiled dialogue. If Kill Bill 1 was a heartfelt homage to the samurai and kung-fu genre, and Kill Bill 2 was a tribute to the spaghetti western; then Sin City was a love letter to Raymond Chandler. Beautiful and dangerous women, rough men with hearts of gold, and corruption that reaches all the way to the top. The film oozes style from every pore. Its groundbreaking use of digital sets and backgrounds make it a one-of-a-kind viewing experience. If you have a taste for the twisted, the noir, and the stylish, you could a lot worse than to spend 2 hours or so in Basin City.
1. The Aristocrats (tie): A man walks into a talent agent's office If youve seen the funniest movie of the year, you already know how this joke ends. And if you havent, Ill go ahead and ruin the punch line for you The agent asks what this act is called, and the man answers: The Aristocrats!. Simple, no? But everything that occurs in between the set up and the punch line is pure gold in the hands of the right comedian. From the humble frame work listed above, dozens of comedians fill in the middle with the raunchiest, most disgusting and vile acts ever committed by man or beast. The joke being that all of these foul actions are being done by a troupe that bills itself as The Aristocrats. This classic vaudeville joke is the subject of the most entertaining documentary of the year. The joke is something of a blank canvas in an art class. The subject is in the front of the room, and each artist does their level best to come up with the best work, while simultaneously putting their personal signature on it. Sarah Silverman, Bob Sagat, Carrie Fisher, Gilbert Gottfried, The gang at South Park, and Christopher Walken steal the show. If you can watch this film without both a new found respect for the artistry of comedy, and a ruptured side from laughing, you are hopeless.
1. The Devils Rejects (tie): Now the first thing you have to realize is that I saw, and hated the prequel, House of 1000 Corpses. I mean really hated. Like with a burning passion hated. So you can imagine how excited I was to see this film
. But here I am listing it tied for best the movie Ive seen in 2005. This film is a joy from beginning to end. Granted my concept of a joy may not jive with your own, but this film is simply awesome. I have not had this much fun with a horror movie since I first saw the original Dawn of the Dead, high praise to be sure. This movie is an entertaining (if somewhat disturbing) romp through the back roads and seedy motels of Texas with three esteemed hosts: Otis, Baby, and Captain Spaulding. We follow their flight from the law, specifically Sheriff Wydell, played by William Forsithe. Along the way we meet several colorful characters played by Ken Foree (of the aforementioned Dawn of the Dead), PJ Soles, Danny Trejo, Pricilla Barnes, and Ginger Lynn. But chief among all of the performances in the film is Bill Moselys show stealing turn as Otis. Granted, he wont win an Oscar for it, but he certainly deserves some recognition for turning in probably the most entertaining performance of the year; and definitely one of the most memorable.
Honorable Mentions:
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
A History of Violence
The Interpreter
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire
Walk The Line
Good Night & Good Luck
Jesus is Magic
5. Constantine: Yes, Im a comic book geek, so this is the first of a couple of comic book movies on my list. However, this movie has almost nothing to do with its source material, but it works anyway. No he isnt blond or a Brit. No he isnt as much of an asshole or trickster either, but John Constantine was the main character in one of only two movies I saw more than twice in the theaters this year. What I loved most about this movie, aside from the cast (I actually like Keanu; and Peter Stormmare & Tilda Sweeton were incredible in their roles) was the subject matter and how it was handled. Quite often in films about the occult, half of the film is spent explaining the whos whats whys and hows. In this film they just went with it. No unnecessary exposition, no explanations of things that the characters should already have intimate knowledge of, the just did it. A perfect example is a scene in which Constantine lights a rag on fire and the resulting blast destroys a pack of demons hunting him. Why did lighting a simple rag decimate the soldiers of Hell? I have a better question, why would someone in that situation waste precious time explaining why it worked? He knew it would work so he did it. By the way, a little extra-curricular research on my part found that the rag was actually a piece of Moses burial shroud, and was a very holy relic that proved deadly to the demons. But the fact that they didnt stop the film in its tracks to explain what it was and why it worked lent to the authenticity and reality of the world. If this was the real world, who would spend time explaining all the minutia of the relics and artifacts? It makes for a multi-layer film that offers something new upon each viewing.
4. Serenity: This was the year I became a Whedonite. After years of friends begging me to start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer this was the year I relented and started watching. I became an addict almost instantly. However, even with 3 seasons of Buffy under my belt, I had still never seen a single episode of Firefly. Once I walked out of the theater at the end of Serenity I wanted to rectify that immediately. This film was the epitome of what made sci-fi fun for me when I was growing up; unbridled imagination, incredible adventures, and human characters. None of the brooding, philosophical monologs of much recent sci-fi (as much as I loved them, Matrix Trilogy and Star Wars Prequels, Im looking in your directions). This film was just all out fun. Remember when you were 10 and watched the Millennium Falcon speeding past asteroids? Remember watching Luke and Leia blast their way out of the Death Star? Remember how it was fun and exciting? That is exactly how this movie feels. Coupled with Joss Whedons always snappy and smart writing and 3-dimentional characterization you have one of the most flat-out fun sci-fi movies in years.
3. Sin City: Oh my lord! What more can be said of this, the best comic book movie of the year? This film is bonafide proof that the greatest trick of movie magic is the fact that under the right circumstances a film can not only be more than the sum of its parts, but it can tower over them. Some of the hammiest acting ever (and I mean that as a compliment) crashes head-on into ultra-violence, unapologetic sexuality and hard-boiled dialogue. If Kill Bill 1 was a heartfelt homage to the samurai and kung-fu genre, and Kill Bill 2 was a tribute to the spaghetti western; then Sin City was a love letter to Raymond Chandler. Beautiful and dangerous women, rough men with hearts of gold, and corruption that reaches all the way to the top. The film oozes style from every pore. Its groundbreaking use of digital sets and backgrounds make it a one-of-a-kind viewing experience. If you have a taste for the twisted, the noir, and the stylish, you could a lot worse than to spend 2 hours or so in Basin City.
1. The Aristocrats (tie): A man walks into a talent agent's office If youve seen the funniest movie of the year, you already know how this joke ends. And if you havent, Ill go ahead and ruin the punch line for you The agent asks what this act is called, and the man answers: The Aristocrats!. Simple, no? But everything that occurs in between the set up and the punch line is pure gold in the hands of the right comedian. From the humble frame work listed above, dozens of comedians fill in the middle with the raunchiest, most disgusting and vile acts ever committed by man or beast. The joke being that all of these foul actions are being done by a troupe that bills itself as The Aristocrats. This classic vaudeville joke is the subject of the most entertaining documentary of the year. The joke is something of a blank canvas in an art class. The subject is in the front of the room, and each artist does their level best to come up with the best work, while simultaneously putting their personal signature on it. Sarah Silverman, Bob Sagat, Carrie Fisher, Gilbert Gottfried, The gang at South Park, and Christopher Walken steal the show. If you can watch this film without both a new found respect for the artistry of comedy, and a ruptured side from laughing, you are hopeless.
1. The Devils Rejects (tie): Now the first thing you have to realize is that I saw, and hated the prequel, House of 1000 Corpses. I mean really hated. Like with a burning passion hated. So you can imagine how excited I was to see this film
. But here I am listing it tied for best the movie Ive seen in 2005. This film is a joy from beginning to end. Granted my concept of a joy may not jive with your own, but this film is simply awesome. I have not had this much fun with a horror movie since I first saw the original Dawn of the Dead, high praise to be sure. This movie is an entertaining (if somewhat disturbing) romp through the back roads and seedy motels of Texas with three esteemed hosts: Otis, Baby, and Captain Spaulding. We follow their flight from the law, specifically Sheriff Wydell, played by William Forsithe. Along the way we meet several colorful characters played by Ken Foree (of the aforementioned Dawn of the Dead), PJ Soles, Danny Trejo, Pricilla Barnes, and Ginger Lynn. But chief among all of the performances in the film is Bill Moselys show stealing turn as Otis. Granted, he wont win an Oscar for it, but he certainly deserves some recognition for turning in probably the most entertaining performance of the year; and definitely one of the most memorable.
Honorable Mentions:
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
A History of Violence
The Interpreter
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire
Walk The Line
Good Night & Good Luck
Jesus is Magic
Video Games of the Year
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
5. Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction: Oh sweet mindless destruction, how I do love thee. Possibly the best game ever for allowing you to experience what it means to be a larger-than-life comic book character. As the Hulk you are a bipedal force of nature that runs up the sides of buildings, hurls helicopters and Harrier jets out of the sky, javelin tosses ballistic missiles back at the tanks that fired them, and goes head to head with 10-story tall mechs bent on your annihilation. You and your pursuers run roughshod over a free-roaming city and desert, wrecking everything in your path. As if all of this wasnt enough to get your carnage gene twitching, there are several mini-games and dozens upon dozens of special moves that ensure that Hulk doesnt just smash, Hulk stays fun and entertaining.
4. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories: Another year, another great GTA game. Sure this retreads over previous territory, but damn is it fun territory. This game performs a feat that no one thought was possible, it fits the entire GTA console experience in the palm of your hand. Everything you loved about the previous 3 GTA games is here and available on the go. The radio stations, the voice acting, the dozens of weapons, the vehicles, the side missions. Its all here. If they just stopped by making a good GTA game I probably wouldve not rated it as high, however this game also introduces one feature to the GTA universe that has never been officially utilized before now: Multiplayer. Oh yes, sweet multiplayer mayhem in the streets of Liberty City. What more could you ask for?
3. Timsplitters: Future Perfect: I will stand by my statement that Timesplitters is the best FPS franchise exclusive to consoles, ever. Granted when you realize that most FPS either start on or are ported to the PC, thats not saying much, but this series really is amazing. Anyone that has played the seminal console FPS, GoldenEye 007 on the N64 knows that the team that put that puppy together knew a thing or two about making a fast-paced, balanced and insanely fun FPS for a console. What most people dont know is that the team behind the original GoldenEye never made another Bond game. All the subsequent Bond games were done by other companies and teams. The brains behind GoldenEye became Free Radical and started their own FPS franchise, Timesplitters. The latest incarnation was the best FPS I played all of last year. It was fast, challenging, brutal and a silky smooth 60 frames per second. Best of all, it was online. If you love FPS and didnt give this a try, you were only cheating yourself.
2. Resident Evil 4: Wow. Never has a time tested franchise reinvented itself so completely. The latest installment in the almost decade old (yikes!) series that invented the term (if not the genre) survival horror, is like nothing that has come before it. The only way to fully appreciate how fundamentally RE4 has changed from its ancestors is to realize it is an entirely different game. It is the equivalent of Madden NFL 2007 being an arcadey-NBA game. Sure theres still a ball and you need to score more points than the other team, but everything else is different. First, attention must be drawn to some jaw-dropping, pants-wetting, drool-inducing graphics. Nintendos little lunchbox pushed every pixel it could to make this game look pretty. And it works. Also the much maligned control scheme has been updated. No more tank-like controls to make escaping from monsters more frustrating than it should be. Instead it plays like a hybrid of a 3rd-person shooter and Shenmue. Boss battles become mini-games in and of themselves. Chainsaw wielding maniacs, sea monsters, murderous townspeople, evil monks; this game has it all.
1. God of War: Many things in this world can be described as sexy. Any of the lovely ladies of this site, a 50 DLP screen, J. K. Rowlings mind and bank account. But before this year, I never would have considered ripping the head off of a still wriggling gorgon to be sexy. Shows what I knew. It is gory, sexy, exhilarating, unapologetic, and fucking fun. No, not The Devils Rejects, Im talking about the best game of the year, God of War. This beautiful game combines the best of the old-school: challenging enemies, level design that forces you to think, blister inducing action; and the best of the new-school: orchestral soundtrack, mature storyline, stellar voice acting, amazing graphics, cerebral puzzles, and multiple styles of play. Any game in which the end goal is deicide had better put the player through their paces before the end, or else the conclusion wont ring true. God of War definitely delivers in this aspect. By the final battle, you will believe that you and Kratos not only can, but will slay Ares. Not only is the game great on a technical level, but the fact that it was made, and was so high profile is a tribute to Sony. Often times, big budget games are sequels, spin-offs, or licensed fare. Essentially games that are guaranteed to sell to an already established fan base. But God of War was an original project that was hyped within an inch of its life. The brass at SCEA believed in this game, and believed that all it needed was a chance to shine, for people to embrace it and realize how amazing it was. Kudos to SCEA and David Jaffe for their triumphant game.
and after Challenge of the Gods mode you fuckers owe me a new controller
Honorable Mentions:
The Punisher
Lumines
Star Wars Battlefront II
We ♥ Katamari
Ultimate Spider-Man
X-Men Legends II
Indigo Prophecy
The Warriors
5. Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction: Oh sweet mindless destruction, how I do love thee. Possibly the best game ever for allowing you to experience what it means to be a larger-than-life comic book character. As the Hulk you are a bipedal force of nature that runs up the sides of buildings, hurls helicopters and Harrier jets out of the sky, javelin tosses ballistic missiles back at the tanks that fired them, and goes head to head with 10-story tall mechs bent on your annihilation. You and your pursuers run roughshod over a free-roaming city and desert, wrecking everything in your path. As if all of this wasnt enough to get your carnage gene twitching, there are several mini-games and dozens upon dozens of special moves that ensure that Hulk doesnt just smash, Hulk stays fun and entertaining.
4. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories: Another year, another great GTA game. Sure this retreads over previous territory, but damn is it fun territory. This game performs a feat that no one thought was possible, it fits the entire GTA console experience in the palm of your hand. Everything you loved about the previous 3 GTA games is here and available on the go. The radio stations, the voice acting, the dozens of weapons, the vehicles, the side missions. Its all here. If they just stopped by making a good GTA game I probably wouldve not rated it as high, however this game also introduces one feature to the GTA universe that has never been officially utilized before now: Multiplayer. Oh yes, sweet multiplayer mayhem in the streets of Liberty City. What more could you ask for?
3. Timsplitters: Future Perfect: I will stand by my statement that Timesplitters is the best FPS franchise exclusive to consoles, ever. Granted when you realize that most FPS either start on or are ported to the PC, thats not saying much, but this series really is amazing. Anyone that has played the seminal console FPS, GoldenEye 007 on the N64 knows that the team that put that puppy together knew a thing or two about making a fast-paced, balanced and insanely fun FPS for a console. What most people dont know is that the team behind the original GoldenEye never made another Bond game. All the subsequent Bond games were done by other companies and teams. The brains behind GoldenEye became Free Radical and started their own FPS franchise, Timesplitters. The latest incarnation was the best FPS I played all of last year. It was fast, challenging, brutal and a silky smooth 60 frames per second. Best of all, it was online. If you love FPS and didnt give this a try, you were only cheating yourself.
2. Resident Evil 4: Wow. Never has a time tested franchise reinvented itself so completely. The latest installment in the almost decade old (yikes!) series that invented the term (if not the genre) survival horror, is like nothing that has come before it. The only way to fully appreciate how fundamentally RE4 has changed from its ancestors is to realize it is an entirely different game. It is the equivalent of Madden NFL 2007 being an arcadey-NBA game. Sure theres still a ball and you need to score more points than the other team, but everything else is different. First, attention must be drawn to some jaw-dropping, pants-wetting, drool-inducing graphics. Nintendos little lunchbox pushed every pixel it could to make this game look pretty. And it works. Also the much maligned control scheme has been updated. No more tank-like controls to make escaping from monsters more frustrating than it should be. Instead it plays like a hybrid of a 3rd-person shooter and Shenmue. Boss battles become mini-games in and of themselves. Chainsaw wielding maniacs, sea monsters, murderous townspeople, evil monks; this game has it all.
1. God of War: Many things in this world can be described as sexy. Any of the lovely ladies of this site, a 50 DLP screen, J. K. Rowlings mind and bank account. But before this year, I never would have considered ripping the head off of a still wriggling gorgon to be sexy. Shows what I knew. It is gory, sexy, exhilarating, unapologetic, and fucking fun. No, not The Devils Rejects, Im talking about the best game of the year, God of War. This beautiful game combines the best of the old-school: challenging enemies, level design that forces you to think, blister inducing action; and the best of the new-school: orchestral soundtrack, mature storyline, stellar voice acting, amazing graphics, cerebral puzzles, and multiple styles of play. Any game in which the end goal is deicide had better put the player through their paces before the end, or else the conclusion wont ring true. God of War definitely delivers in this aspect. By the final battle, you will believe that you and Kratos not only can, but will slay Ares. Not only is the game great on a technical level, but the fact that it was made, and was so high profile is a tribute to Sony. Often times, big budget games are sequels, spin-offs, or licensed fare. Essentially games that are guaranteed to sell to an already established fan base. But God of War was an original project that was hyped within an inch of its life. The brass at SCEA believed in this game, and believed that all it needed was a chance to shine, for people to embrace it and realize how amazing it was. Kudos to SCEA and David Jaffe for their triumphant game.
and after Challenge of the Gods mode you fuckers owe me a new controller
Honorable Mentions:
The Punisher
Lumines
Star Wars Battlefront II
We ♥ Katamari
Ultimate Spider-Man
X-Men Legends II
Indigo Prophecy
The Warriors
Albums of the Year
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
5. Necro-The Sexorcist: Yes, I know its a gimmicky album, a one-note LP full of nothing but deep bass lines, porn and sex references, and a twisted sense of humor. But on the other hand its full of nothing but deep bass lines, porn and sex references, and a twisted sense of humor! After a brief hiatus, Necro is back to his breakneck pace of releasing albums on his Psycho-Logical Label, and the first full album out the gate this year was The Sexorcist and boy is it fun. Granted, like Necro himself, you have to accept the album as a tongue-in-cheek masterpiece. If you start to take it all literally, youll worry about Necros mental health (and yours too as you nod your head to some of the best beats of the year). Bottom line is this: if you have a healthy sense of humor, wish 2 Live Crew stayed together, have a taste for head bopping beats, and always wanted to hear Ron Jeremy kick a freestyle (no, he really does) you need to get this album.
Aesop Rock-Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives: As one of the three people that actually liked Aes Rizzles last LP, Bazooka Tooth, more than the previous 2, I was looking forward to his latest EP. And that was before I found out about the 88 page booklet included. The Living Human Curiosity Sideshow is the name of said booklet, and in it are the lyrics to every song on every Aesop Rock album from Float up to and including Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives. If you have ever listened to the labyrinthine wordplay of Aesop Rock, you know that he packs his words on top of each other like Legos constructing a golem of lyrical beauty. Ok, maybe that was a bit much, but the man is a fucking genius. Unfortunately his voice and his flow sometimes make his multisylabic bars meld too easily with the tracks themselves, making it hard to distinguish his lyrics. This leads to him being unappreciated by those that cant or dont want to take the time to (obsessively) concentrate on what hes saying. Now, with this 88-page Cliffs Notes there is no excuse for him to be maligned anymore.
Oh yeah, the actual album.
It almost feels like outtakes or a continuation of Bazooka Tooth. This is not to say that it is a bad album, if it were, it wouldnt be on this list. Rather I just mean that the same distinct production that brought bangers such as N.Y. Electric and The Greatest Pac-Man Victory In History returns here. Surprisingly on the 7 cuts on this EP, Aes doesnt shy away from addressing big topics like the War in Iraq and the U.S. Military in general (Winners Take All) or organized religion, specifically the Catholic priest scandal (Holy Smokes). Its clich, but dammit it fits here: All killer, no filler.
3. Atmosphere-You Cant Imagine How Much Fun Were Having: And the award for Best Juxtaposition Between Album Title and Album Cover of the Year goes to
Seriously though, this is one of the best Atmosphere albums yet. Slug & Ant continue to fuck with the expectations their fans and deliver another album that takes them even farther away from the albums that brought them so much acclaim early in their careers. Thank god. Nothing is worse than an artist getting stagnant and only gives the public what they think they want, instead of continuing to create what they feel. This is probably the album where some of the remaining purists jump ship and claim that Atmosphere jumped the shark. I guess everyone was expecting an LP full of Gods Bathroom Floor, Body Pillow, and Woman With the Tattooed Hands. Dont get me wrong, those are 3 of my favorite songs ever, much less favorite Atmosphere songs. But the fact that for their 8th CD release (not counting several vinyl and cassette only releases) they continues to change it up and not get stuck in the rut of making the same song over and over again. Also in my mind you have to love artists that continue to do what they feel while giving a big fuck you most of their fan base (watch these white kids eat it up like it was mayonnaise). Slug and Ant really dont care what you think of their music, they will continue to make it anyway.
2. Cage-Hells Winter: Wow. The most heartfelt, serious, life affirming album of the year was put out by the same man who made (Down) The Left Hand Path, The Soundtrack (To Kill Your Stepfather), and That Smut. I guess Hell really has frozen over. Cage went from dusted adventures with his Leak Brother Tame-One, to a biographical retrospective of all of the trials and tragedies that led him to record most of the music of his early career. Including his classic debut LP Movies for the Blind, which he now disowns as the result of a heavily drug-laden lifestyle (I got a little buzz, I went a little crazy/Said everything I said on Movies because of my buzz/Im living sober lately, sure some fansll hate me/). The result of Cage leaving the drugs alone is reflecting on himself as an artist and as a man.
He made a conscious effort not to use any misogynistic lyrics on this album as he now thinks about how he influences his daughter. And he delves deep into the core of his pain, a childhood that no person should ever have to endure. He spends two songs specifically focusing on his father (Too Heavy for Cherubs & Stripes) and others exploring his past relationships with women (Scenester & Subtle Art of the Break-Up Song). However, the greatest moment on the album, and the most beautiful and best single of the year, is the heartbreaking Shoot Frank. Here Cage strips his emotions bare to match the hauntingly beautiful, yet sparse RJD2 track. Darryl Palumbos cameo on the hook is just the cherry on top of an already classic song.
Speaking of guest stars, and production, I would be remiss if I neglected to mention that El-P, Camu-Tao, RJD2, and Blockhead, and DJ Shadow came up with some minor masterpieces here. And Jello Biafra has a unique cameo on the scathing assault on the Bush Administration, Grand Ol Party Crash that takes the song to another level. Any other year this would have been my favorite album of the year. It is so head & shoulder above the rest of the field this would have taken the #1 slot in a walk
Slug & Murs-Felt 2: A Tribute to Lisa Bonet: Best album of the year. End of conversation. Now that that is out of the way, let me tell you why. Mind you, it is almost impossible to explain why this album is so amazing, but Ill have to try. From beginning to end this album is a road trip with three of your best friends. Two brothers from different mothers, and a quiet dude that never says much, but talks with his music. And what wonderful music! Ant outdoes himself with the best beats of his career, and he covers a wide array. From the head bopping funk of Employees of the Year, to the old-school hip-hop flavor of Gangster Ass Anthony, to the jazzy flare of I Shot A Warhol, to the soul stylings of Marvin Gaye and Morris Day, Ant is the shining star of this album. For him to not be included on the shortlist of the best current producers in Hip-Hop after this album would be a crime. This is not to say that Slug & Murs just sit around and twiddle their thumbs. On the contrary, they both spit rhymes that match the stellar production. Both emcees are so comfortable inside of Ants tracks that they sound like they are rhyming in their PJs. Ok, so Murs probably really was In any case, Slug & Murs wax lyrical on a great many subjects, women chief among them. Woman Tonight tells the tale of trying to find love, if only for one night, while on tour. Dirty Girl has them singing the praises of hard working women that get their hands dirty on the job. And Breaker Down Like A Shotgun features the duo serenading young women as only they can.
In the end, this album is the most cohesive, energetic, fun album that any of the three men involved with it has ever made. When they retire, and fans look back at their respective careers, there is no doubt that for Slug, Murs, and Ant Felt 2 will stand tall as their crowning achievement.
Plus, you know, it came with comic book commentary.
Honorable Mention
Sleater-Kinney- The Woods
Circle of Tyrants- S/t
GZA/Genius & DJ Muggs- Grandmasters
Sage Francis- A Healthy Distrust
5. Necro-The Sexorcist: Yes, I know its a gimmicky album, a one-note LP full of nothing but deep bass lines, porn and sex references, and a twisted sense of humor. But on the other hand its full of nothing but deep bass lines, porn and sex references, and a twisted sense of humor! After a brief hiatus, Necro is back to his breakneck pace of releasing albums on his Psycho-Logical Label, and the first full album out the gate this year was The Sexorcist and boy is it fun. Granted, like Necro himself, you have to accept the album as a tongue-in-cheek masterpiece. If you start to take it all literally, youll worry about Necros mental health (and yours too as you nod your head to some of the best beats of the year). Bottom line is this: if you have a healthy sense of humor, wish 2 Live Crew stayed together, have a taste for head bopping beats, and always wanted to hear Ron Jeremy kick a freestyle (no, he really does) you need to get this album.
Aesop Rock-Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives: As one of the three people that actually liked Aes Rizzles last LP, Bazooka Tooth, more than the previous 2, I was looking forward to his latest EP. And that was before I found out about the 88 page booklet included. The Living Human Curiosity Sideshow is the name of said booklet, and in it are the lyrics to every song on every Aesop Rock album from Float up to and including Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives. If you have ever listened to the labyrinthine wordplay of Aesop Rock, you know that he packs his words on top of each other like Legos constructing a golem of lyrical beauty. Ok, maybe that was a bit much, but the man is a fucking genius. Unfortunately his voice and his flow sometimes make his multisylabic bars meld too easily with the tracks themselves, making it hard to distinguish his lyrics. This leads to him being unappreciated by those that cant or dont want to take the time to (obsessively) concentrate on what hes saying. Now, with this 88-page Cliffs Notes there is no excuse for him to be maligned anymore.
Oh yeah, the actual album.
It almost feels like outtakes or a continuation of Bazooka Tooth. This is not to say that it is a bad album, if it were, it wouldnt be on this list. Rather I just mean that the same distinct production that brought bangers such as N.Y. Electric and The Greatest Pac-Man Victory In History returns here. Surprisingly on the 7 cuts on this EP, Aes doesnt shy away from addressing big topics like the War in Iraq and the U.S. Military in general (Winners Take All) or organized religion, specifically the Catholic priest scandal (Holy Smokes). Its clich, but dammit it fits here: All killer, no filler.
3. Atmosphere-You Cant Imagine How Much Fun Were Having: And the award for Best Juxtaposition Between Album Title and Album Cover of the Year goes to
Seriously though, this is one of the best Atmosphere albums yet. Slug & Ant continue to fuck with the expectations their fans and deliver another album that takes them even farther away from the albums that brought them so much acclaim early in their careers. Thank god. Nothing is worse than an artist getting stagnant and only gives the public what they think they want, instead of continuing to create what they feel. This is probably the album where some of the remaining purists
jump ship and claim that Atmosphere jumped the shark. I guess everyone was expecting an LP full of Gods Bathroom Floor, Body Pillow, and Woman With the Tattooed Hands. Dont get me wrong, those are 3 of my favorite songs ever, much less favorite Atmosphere songs. But the fact that for their 8th CD release (not counting several vinyl and cassette only releases) they continues to change it up and not get stuck in the rut of making the same song over and over again. Also in my mind you have to love artists that continue to do what they feel while giving a big fuck you most of their fan base (watch these white kids eat it up like it was mayonnaise). Slug and Ant really dont care what you think of their music, they will continue to make it anyway.
2. Cage-Hells Winter: Wow. The most heartfelt, serious, life affirming album of the year was put out by the same man who made (Down) The Left Hand Path, The Soundtrack (To Kill Your Stepfather), and That Smut. I guess Hell really has frozen over. Cage went from dusted adventures with his Leak Brother Tame-One, to a biographical retrospective of all of the trials and tragedies that led him to record most of the music of his early career. Including his classic debut LP Movies for the Blind, which he now disowns as the result of a heavily drug-laden lifestyle (I got a little buzz, I went a little crazy/Said everything I said on Movies because of my buzz/Im living sober lately, sure some fansll hate me/). The result of Cage leaving the drugs alone is reflecting on himself as an artist and as a man.
He made a conscious effort not to use any misogynistic lyrics on this album as he now thinks about how he influences his daughter. And he delves deep into the core of his pain, a childhood that no person should ever have to endure. He spends two songs specifically focusing on his father (Too Heavy for Cherubs & Stripes) and others exploring his past relationships with women (Scenester & Subtle Art of the Break-Up Song). However, the greatest moment on the album, and the most beautiful and best single of the year, is the heartbreaking Shoot Frank. Here Cage strips his emotions bare to match the hauntingly beautiful, yet sparse RJD2 track. Darryl Palumbos cameo on the hook is just the cherry on top of an already classic song.
Speaking of guest stars, and production, I would be remiss if I neglected to mention that El-P, Camu-Tao, RJD2, and Blockhead, and DJ Shadow came up with some minor masterpieces here. And Jello Biafra has a unique cameo on the scathing assault on the Bush Administration, Grand Ol Party Crash that takes the song to another level. Any other year this would have been my favorite album of the year. It is so head & shoulder above the rest of the field this would have taken the #1 slot in a walk
Slug & Murs-Felt 2: A Tribute to Lisa Bonet: Best album of the year. End of conversation. Now that that is out of the way, let me tell you why. Mind you, it is almost impossible to explain why this album is so amazing, but Ill have to try. From beginning to end this album is a road trip with three of your best friends. Two brothers from different mothers, and a quiet dude that never says much, but talks with his music. And what wonderful music! Ant outdoes himself with the best beats of his career, and he covers a wide array. From the head bopping funk of Employees of the Year, to the old-school hip-hop flavor of Gangster Ass Anthony, to the jazzy flare of I Shot A Warhol, to the soul stylings of Marvin Gaye and Morris Day, Ant is the shining star of this album. For him to not be included on the shortlist of the best current producers in Hip-Hop after this album would be a crime. This is not to say that Slug & Murs just sit around and twiddle their thumbs. On the contrary, they both spit rhymes that match the stellar production. Both emcees are so comfortable inside of Ants tracks that they sound like they are rhyming in their PJs. Ok, so Murs probably really was In any case, Slug & Murs wax lyrical on a great many subjects, women chief among them. Woman Tonight tells the tale of trying to find love, if only for one night, while on tour. Dirty Girl has them singing the praises of hard working women that get their hands dirty on the job. And Breaker Down Like A Shotgun features the duo serenading young women as only they can.
In the end, this album is the most cohesive, energetic, fun album that any of the three men involved with it has ever made. When they retire, and fans look back at their respective careers, there is no doubt that for Slug, Murs, and Ant Felt 2 will stand tall as their crowning achievement.
Plus, you know, it came with comic book commentary.
Honorable Mention
Sleater-Kinney- The Woods
Circle of Tyrants- S/t
GZA/Genius & DJ Muggs- Grandmasters
Sage Francis- A Healthy Distrust
Comics of the Year
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
5. Daredevil-Redemption (TPB & DD: Redemption #1-6): What would have happened in the Robin Hood Hills investigation if a lawyer-by-day/superhero-by-night took the case? That is what happens in this mini-series. A teenage couple and their mentally handicapped friend are accused of the brutal murder of a local child. The eldest teen is not well liked by the small, inclusive community. His taste in music, art and literature do not mesh with the down home goodness of Redemption Valley. It is a story about tolerance and how blind rage and ideology can destroy that tolerance. The ending is a bit maudlin, but it gets the point across.
4. Absolute Watchmen (Trade Hardcover): Look, if youre reading this category you know about Watchmen and why it is an amazing story and how important it is to the industry. The only thing youre probably wondering is if this oversized, hardcover, re-colored edition is worth the $80.00 price tag. Yes it is. Buy it now.
3. Daredevil-Decalogue (TPB & DD# 71-75): This arc is the epitome of what makes the Bendis/Maleev run on Daredevil the best in the books entire history. Im sorry, but Millers runs now fall to second. A close second, but second none the less. After a tabloid has outed him as Daredevil and he declared himself the new Kingpin (after driving the old one through a bar window strapped to the hood of a car), Matt Murdochs life little resembled what it previously did. This arc explores what happened in Hells Kitchen during the first year of Matts running of Hells Kitchen. It shows how a man dressing in a devil suit and saving lives affects his community.
2. Runaways-Volume 1 Hardcover (Trade Hardcover): What would you do if you were 15 and you found out your parents were supervillians? Not because they grounded you for being out late, but because you witnessed them and their friends murder a young girl in an occult ritual. Chances are, youd runaway. And thats just what the six young protagonists do in best book that none of you are reading. On the run from their parents, and the police, six young people are forced to grow-up rather quickly and fight the urge to become like their parents. Imagine Buffy the Vampire Slayer only with 6 Buffys and no Giles and youre getting there. Must be why Joss Whedon was one of the many fans who wrote in and expressed disappointment that the series was canceled. Fortunately the voices of the fans were heard and Runaways is back to being a monthly book and picks up right where this recently released hardcover volume left off. The first 18 issues are included in this volume and makes for a great read that is structured like TV shows; several smaller arcs functioning inside one much larger arc. You get vampires, dinosaurs, magic, gadgets, mutants, and aliens. How can you possibly go wrong? Only way would be by not buying it.
1. New Avengers & Astonishing X-Men- House of M (House of M # 1-8): The Avengers were destroyed by one of their own. An insane and out of control Scarlet Witch caused the destruction of the Avengers Mansion, the UN cutting off the Avengers, and the deaths of Ant-Man, Vision, and Hawkeye. And this was all before the first issue of House of M. In the wake of this event, the New Avengers (Captain America, Iron-Man, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman and Wolverine) along with some old Avengers meet with the Astonishing X-Men (Cyclops, White Queen, Beast, Colossus, Kitty Pride and, well, Wolverine) to discuss how to handle Scarlet Witch. If her reality altering powers get out of control again and her sanity continues to deteriorate she could be a threat to the whole of creation. Before a consensus is reached, the two teams head to where Scarlet Witch is being held, only to find that she is gone. The world goes white, and after that nothing is the same. The heroes are now in the world of the House of Magnus. A world in which Magneto has won his war for mutant rights and mutants are the elite class. There are no cullings or wars, but make no doubt, its a mutants world, humans are just living in it. The heroes begin with no memories of the previous world, all they remember are their lives in the world as it now is.
Over the course of eight issues Brian Michael Bendis shows us this new world of possibilities and brings the gathered heroes together (with restored memories) to take on Magneto and try and make the world the way it was. Since some characters have their memories back, and some dont, we get a super-hero fight for the ages. But at the core House of M is about three people and their relationships with each other: Magneto and his children. They cause all of the events of this crossover event to happen, on purpose or not. And in the end, it just takes three little words from a being of incredible power to change the face of the Marvel Universe: No more mutants.
In lieu of Honorable Mention I submit the top 10 moments, scenes or lines in comics in 2005
10. Ultron is Victor LaManchas father. (Runaways)
9. That the best you got, bub?-Kitty Pryde (Astonishing X-Men)
8. Ronin revealed. (New Avengers)
7. Spidey & Kitty Pride kiss. (Ultimate Spider-Man Annual)
6. FIELD TRIP!- Molly Hayes (Runaways)
5. So thats what was keeping Yorick Brown alive all this time. Ewww. (Y the Last Man)
4. Hawkeye goes to pieces (House of M)
3. Lost your control over metal huh? I didnt.-Wolverine to Magneto (about 10 years overdue) (House of M)
2. Bullseyes cameo DD#78 and his subsequent ass-whupping at the hands of Elektra & Daredevil in the next issue. (Daredevil)
1. No More Mutants. (House of M)
Also, for your consideration her are the top 5 books you should all be reading on a regular basis:
5. Y the Last Man
4. Ultimate Spider-Man
3. New Avengers
2. Runaways
1. Daredevil
And an extra special fanboy moment award goes to the wedding and subsequent parenthood of Daredevil & Elektra:
5. Daredevil-Redemption (TPB & DD: Redemption #1-6): What would have happened in the Robin Hood Hills investigation if a lawyer-by-day/superhero-by-night took the case? That is what happens in this mini-series. A teenage couple and their mentally handicapped friend are accused of the brutal murder of a local child. The eldest teen is not well liked by the small, inclusive community. His taste in music, art and literature do not mesh with the down home goodness of Redemption Valley. It is a story about tolerance and how blind rage and ideology can destroy that tolerance. The ending is a bit maudlin, but it gets the point across.
4. Absolute Watchmen (Trade Hardcover): Look, if youre reading this category you know about Watchmen and why it is an amazing story and how important it is to the industry. The only thing youre probably wondering is if this oversized, hardcover, re-colored edition is worth the $80.00 price tag. Yes it is. Buy it now.
3. Daredevil-Decalogue (TPB & DD# 71-75): This arc is the epitome of what makes the Bendis/Maleev run on Daredevil the best in the books entire history. Im sorry, but Millers runs now fall to second. A close second, but second none the less. After a tabloid has outed him as Daredevil and he declared himself the new Kingpin (after driving the old one through a bar window strapped to the hood of a car), Matt Murdochs life little resembled what it previously did. This arc explores what happened in Hells Kitchen during the first year of Matts running of Hells Kitchen. It shows how a man dressing in a devil suit and saving lives affects his community.
2. Runaways-Volume 1 Hardcover (Trade Hardcover): What would you do if you were 15 and you found out your parents were supervillians? Not because they grounded you for being out late, but because you witnessed them and their friends murder a young girl in an occult ritual. Chances are, youd runaway. And thats just what the six young protagonists do in best book that none of you are reading. On the run from their parents, and the police, six young people are forced to grow-up rather quickly and fight the urge to become like their parents. Imagine Buffy the Vampire Slayer only with 6 Buffys and no Giles and youre getting there. Must be why Joss Whedon was one of the many fans who wrote in and expressed disappointment that the series was canceled. Fortunately the voices of the fans were heard and Runaways is back to being a monthly book and picks up right where this recently released hardcover volume left off. The first 18 issues are included in this volume and makes for a great read that is structured like TV shows; several smaller arcs functioning inside one much larger arc. You get vampires, dinosaurs, magic, gadgets, mutants, and aliens. How can you possibly go wrong? Only way would be by not buying it.
1. New Avengers & Astonishing X-Men- House of M (House of M # 1-8): The Avengers were destroyed by one of their own. An insane and out of control Scarlet Witch caused the destruction of the Avengers Mansion, the UN cutting off the Avengers, and the deaths of Ant-Man, Vision, and Hawkeye. And this was all before the first issue of House of M. In the wake of this event, the New Avengers (Captain America, Iron-Man, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman and Wolverine) along with some old Avengers meet with the Astonishing X-Men (Cyclops, White Queen, Beast, Colossus, Kitty Pride and, well, Wolverine) to discuss how to handle Scarlet Witch. If her reality altering powers get out of control again and her sanity continues to deteriorate she could be a threat to the whole of creation. Before a consensus is reached, the two teams head to where Scarlet Witch is being held, only to find that she is gone. The world goes white, and after that nothing is the same. The heroes are now in the world of the House of Magnus. A world in which Magneto has won his war for mutant rights and mutants are the elite class. There are no cullings or wars, but make no doubt, its a mutants world, humans are just living in it. The heroes begin with no memories of the previous world, all they remember are their lives in the world as it now is.
Over the course of eight issues Brian Michael Bendis shows us this new world of possibilities and brings the gathered heroes together (with restored memories) to take on Magneto and try and make the world the way it was. Since some characters have their memories back, and some dont, we get a super-hero fight for the ages. But at the core House of M is about three people and their relationships with each other: Magneto and his children. They cause all of the events of this crossover event to happen, on purpose or not. And in the end, it just takes three little words from a being of incredible power to change the face of the Marvel Universe: No more mutants.
In lieu of Honorable Mention I submit the top 10 moments, scenes or lines in comics in 2005
10. Ultron is Victor LaManchas father. (Runaways)
9. That the best you got, bub?-Kitty Pryde (Astonishing X-Men)
8. Ronin revealed. (New Avengers)
7. Spidey & Kitty Pride kiss. (Ultimate Spider-Man Annual)
6. FIELD TRIP!- Molly Hayes (Runaways)
5. So thats what was keeping Yorick Brown alive all this time. Ewww. (Y the Last Man)
4. Hawkeye goes to pieces (House of M)
3. Lost your control over metal huh? I didnt.-Wolverine to Magneto (about 10 years overdue) (House of M)
2. Bullseyes cameo DD#78 and his subsequent ass-whupping at the hands of Elektra & Daredevil in the next issue. (Daredevil)
1. No More Mutants. (House of M)
Also, for your consideration her are the top 5 books you should all be reading on a regular basis:
5. Y the Last Man
4. Ultimate Spider-Man
3. New Avengers
2. Runaways
1. Daredevil
And an extra special fanboy moment award goes to the wedding and subsequent parenthood of Daredevil & Elektra:
If you actually read through all of that you are sick, sick individuals; cause I didnt even read through it all. And I wrote the damn thing! Heres to 2005 in entertainment.
*edit* This just in. If you aren't admiring and leaving comments on Sloane's newest
set, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Oh and caned. You should be caned as well.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
btw what did you think of my suggestion for dangerdoom? have you heard it yet? really it is actually reallly good, i thought it was going to be another cartoon goof thing like gorillaz but it really has coolness all over it!