aki1

so today i had my first session with the new physical therapist due to the fact the previous one whom was great moved to another state
my luck right : (
and no i do not think i like him
granted i am not there for the liking somebody or not
i am there for me
for my injury
to heal and work on my leg
i do not care if he has seen and worked on injuries similar to mine for 12 years
and no i dont really care it takes an average og 12-15 months to get back to somewhat normal
i know for a fact
we all heal different fast
we all react different to any treatment we might get
we all work different hard pending on how used our bodies are at working hard
I am extremly driven for several reasons
i can push harder than most average peeps due to the fact ive been a elite athlet
i am used to pain although i know bad pain from good pain
I WANT MY LIFE BACK
that is what keeps me driven
wanting to do all the things that made me have a life
I have pets that i love and cherish all the fun goofy stuff i get to do with them
as when i take em out to play and excersize
i have always been able to put my mind to the injuries ive had prior and work at maximum capacity
i know my body
i need to know my progress not how other cases have done
so yupp i didnt really care for him
he owns the center i go to
i dont care
LOL what makes it worse hes more clumsy by nature than i am crippled LOL
i watched the man spill two cups of coffee all over patient charts
i watched him pull out tons of equipment that he didnt return a single one of
the other girls did
i respect experience
but i do appreciate somebody to forgett all the thousands of cases unless u can conttribute something from their treatment to enhance mine
those are just my feelings because as broken and fucked up my foot is nothing wrong with the brain and heart
whheeew told ya lots to read

i have a drs appointment tomorrow
and i did get some paper to give my doctor from the physical therapist
i am also supposed to get a new boot
a lighter one
one that will make it easier to mimick a normal walk instead of the cradeling motion that is caused by the boot
i have not eaten any painkillers for three days
last night was bad
the inside part of the ankle was probably a good 7 out of 10 on the painscale
if i am going to spend any longer periods of pain due to physical therapy
id rather go headone and see if i can tackle it on my own
i still have some left and i will probably ask for one more dose of em just to have them
even if i dont like them and i prefer my life without em it is a nice insurance to have if id get smacked or something out of my own control
so keep ur fingers crossed for my bones progress
man i can seriously say i never thought id ask something like that

i miss working i miss seeing alot of different people every dayi miss walking my dog i miss being able to be all bad and rumbunktios in bed without having to stop position my foot and be carefull
i miss so many of the little things in life that just makes life
nowdays its a victory when i can stand long enough to make myself pancakes for saturdaybrunch
and u can call me greedy but i want more out of life
what pisses me off about this whole incident is its not like i breezed through life
ive had to work hard for the things i have in life
not saying alot of people have
there are just so many aspects of life that having 11 weeks to ponder on them
just makes me mad
i guess mad is better than depressed but still
i want my head back
my own positive sunny outlook on life is what made me handle and deal with all the bullshit ive been dealt
i have wonderful and amazing things in my life
i al so glad that me being me and my hard work in life has given me the people and things i have that i love and cherish so dearly
but here is my kicker
right now
it is about me
me working on getting back to being my good old me or at least as close as my injury will allow me to get
because once that is in place
i think alot of my quirks and other emotions will naturally fall back into being ME
i miss being part of life instead of being passed by because i cant do the normal things
rob went fishing with his company saturday which i couldnt have gone anyway only employees
this coming saturday rob is gonna try to get 2 more guys to go to vermont
leave friday night and drive 7 hours and then sleep x hours
and snowboard saturday
probably the last trip this season
not to many places around here are open anymore
and yupp u guessed right
im not going
no point
i hate that
id never be a ego ass and say i dont want u to go
cause if my foot wasnt broken id go aswell
we are and always have been prtners in crime
and we do everything together
he is my best friend
and i hate it when im left behind cause i physically cant do things due to my stupid ass leg
i know i know
im not emo
im pissed
man it sucks
god damn i had alot of bitching locked up
i am angry and i guess this is one of my few ways to vent