I've known Samuel nearly half my life11 years. 11 fucking years. We met during the summer before 8th grade, we had previously went to two different elementary schools, and were currently going to two different Jr. Highseven though we lived, barely, 4 blocks away from one another. We lived four blocks away from one another, but had never met before that summer.
Sammy knew me before i became me. Before fetishes and movies and pot and cigarettes. He knew me back when i wanted to be a journalist and when i wanted to be a photographer. He knew me back when i wanted to be a photojournalist, a writercrappy poet. Back when i wanted to write short stories and novels. How much i've changedi wanna write scripts and be a director. That's my progression.
He knew me back when i was really shyback when i couldnt make eye contact, back when i'd watch the ground when i walked.
Back when all i'd talk about was politics and religion, back when i wore black Dead Kennedys shirts, blue Rage Against The Machine shirts, white Queers shirts.
Tattered KMFDM shirts.
Back when i wore green Chucks instead of black.
He knew me thru every failing relationship, even if he didnt know my relationships were failing. He was always there to pick me up, to make me laugh.
He's the only real friend that stayed with me when i moved to Canton.
Then again when i moved to Creve Coeur.
Then, again, to Peoria.
He's the only person that's had my back, consistently, for a decadeand, for that, i love him.
And it's all because i wanted to go to the park. That's what it comes down toone summer i wanted to go to the park.
Our entire friendship is the result of boredom.
So Aaron and iAaron was a friend way back thenAaron and i walked the mile down to 8th Street to go hang out in the park, when Sammy rides up onna old, blue tricycle. It was the size of a regular bike, but instead of one wheel in the back, there were two.
Sammy's trikeold as piss, cool as hell. He still has it, and he's fixing it up as i type this.
Back then he was a skinny, tan, overactive country-boywearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a duster.
Big glasses, just like his daddycos that's what he wanted to be, like his dad.
And for the next three hours he annoyed the piss outta me, saying stupid shit, doing stupid shit, whatever, but i'm a nice guy, and, at the time, his brother was dating my sister, so i included him in our games.
And for the rest of the summer he'd show up at my house, wanting to play basketball and pool.
Video Games.
And i'd oblige.
And he grew on me.
Within the first week of our meeting, i made him laugh so hard he threw up, that's when i knew i had to keep him.
And since we've started hanging out, he's dropped the country thing, the cowboy thing, gotten contact lenses, and kinda morphed into a pretty-boy-gameri couldnt be more proud.
Even though he listens to crappy mainstream hip-hop and pop.
Our relationship resembles a marriage more than a traditional friendship. I know what he's thinking without him having to tell me. I can see what he sees the way he sees it.
You take the closest relationship youve ever hadwhether it be family, friend, or loverand yr no where close to how close we are.
And it gets hard for me to describe our relationship to anyone that's never been with usit's more than gay, more than straightwe're closer than friends, tighter than familyit transcends all that shit. I'd hazard to say soulmate, simply because i'd die for him. Because i cant imagine what i'd do without him.
And he's the only one i've ever been able to say that about.
So, how do you tell someone you love that there are things you cant communicate? Shit you cant tell them? That there are things impossible to talk with them about.
For starters, we're two completely different sexual beings. I cant tell him a finger up the ass feels goodhe's too vanilla. Emotionally, as well, we're in two different places. He can talk about shit he's feeling, i'm understanding and a decent listener. When i share my feelings he kinda blocks me out.
So he's giving me guilt about the Saturday thing, and i wanna tell him not to be jealous, but if i do he'll make a big thing about it.
I dunno why i'm even thinking about this, but whatever.
I'll stop now. I really feel like fuck this place right now.
Boop.
Waking up for breakfast
Burning matches
Talking quickly
Breaking baubles
Throwing garbage
Drinking soda
Looking happy
Taking pictures
So completely stupid
Just go away
Sammy knew me before i became me. Before fetishes and movies and pot and cigarettes. He knew me back when i wanted to be a journalist and when i wanted to be a photographer. He knew me back when i wanted to be a photojournalist, a writercrappy poet. Back when i wanted to write short stories and novels. How much i've changedi wanna write scripts and be a director. That's my progression.
He knew me back when i was really shyback when i couldnt make eye contact, back when i'd watch the ground when i walked.
Back when all i'd talk about was politics and religion, back when i wore black Dead Kennedys shirts, blue Rage Against The Machine shirts, white Queers shirts.
Tattered KMFDM shirts.
Back when i wore green Chucks instead of black.
He knew me thru every failing relationship, even if he didnt know my relationships were failing. He was always there to pick me up, to make me laugh.
He's the only real friend that stayed with me when i moved to Canton.
Then again when i moved to Creve Coeur.
Then, again, to Peoria.
He's the only person that's had my back, consistently, for a decadeand, for that, i love him.
And it's all because i wanted to go to the park. That's what it comes down toone summer i wanted to go to the park.
Our entire friendship is the result of boredom.
So Aaron and iAaron was a friend way back thenAaron and i walked the mile down to 8th Street to go hang out in the park, when Sammy rides up onna old, blue tricycle. It was the size of a regular bike, but instead of one wheel in the back, there were two.
Sammy's trikeold as piss, cool as hell. He still has it, and he's fixing it up as i type this.
Back then he was a skinny, tan, overactive country-boywearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a duster.
Big glasses, just like his daddycos that's what he wanted to be, like his dad.
And for the next three hours he annoyed the piss outta me, saying stupid shit, doing stupid shit, whatever, but i'm a nice guy, and, at the time, his brother was dating my sister, so i included him in our games.
And for the rest of the summer he'd show up at my house, wanting to play basketball and pool.
Video Games.
And i'd oblige.
And he grew on me.
Within the first week of our meeting, i made him laugh so hard he threw up, that's when i knew i had to keep him.
And since we've started hanging out, he's dropped the country thing, the cowboy thing, gotten contact lenses, and kinda morphed into a pretty-boy-gameri couldnt be more proud.
Even though he listens to crappy mainstream hip-hop and pop.
Our relationship resembles a marriage more than a traditional friendship. I know what he's thinking without him having to tell me. I can see what he sees the way he sees it.
You take the closest relationship youve ever hadwhether it be family, friend, or loverand yr no where close to how close we are.
And it gets hard for me to describe our relationship to anyone that's never been with usit's more than gay, more than straightwe're closer than friends, tighter than familyit transcends all that shit. I'd hazard to say soulmate, simply because i'd die for him. Because i cant imagine what i'd do without him.
And he's the only one i've ever been able to say that about.
So, how do you tell someone you love that there are things you cant communicate? Shit you cant tell them? That there are things impossible to talk with them about.
For starters, we're two completely different sexual beings. I cant tell him a finger up the ass feels goodhe's too vanilla. Emotionally, as well, we're in two different places. He can talk about shit he's feeling, i'm understanding and a decent listener. When i share my feelings he kinda blocks me out.
So he's giving me guilt about the Saturday thing, and i wanna tell him not to be jealous, but if i do he'll make a big thing about it.
I dunno why i'm even thinking about this, but whatever.
I'll stop now. I really feel like fuck this place right now.
Boop.
Waking up for breakfast
Burning matches
Talking quickly
Breaking baubles
Throwing garbage
Drinking soda
Looking happy
Taking pictures
So completely stupid
Just go away
phoolsfire:
i've heard of this man love before, i had a friend named fred out in cali and his friend shane, would get so jealous. when we went out. he said they could read each others thoughts n stuff like that, and know how one would react in a situation even if he wasn't there, and all that. i think you should buy sammy two ice cream cones, and then get his name tattooed on your ass. you guys need some quality time together.