yOOOOO my peeps in SG land!!!!
im BACK!!!!
hectic month hectic month. craZy.
zillions of visits to the D.A.s office downtown, life living out of a bag at my girls cribs, disasterous work, very passionate boyfriend...
to finish that off, my parents flew in last weekend from JAPAN to come see if i was okay in the big city.
the fucked up shit is that they never called me to tell me they were coming!
the only reason why i found out was coz my mommy (not biological) called me and told me that she just helped my parents get hotel reservations. (she works at a major hotel in the city)
i was like "WHAT?! THEYRE COMING IN TWO DAYS AND THEY DIDNT EVEN TELL ME?????!!!!!!!!"
thats some fucked up shit right there.... damn....
now normally, i know i should feel grateful and honored that they care about me so much to come all the way around the globe when their daughter is in some deep shit.
but they have fucked up our relationship so deeply in the past, i can't feel thrilled to see them.
call me stubborn.
call me immature.
call me selfish.
tell me forgive and forget about the past.
but i feel there are some things parents should never do to their kids that consequentially destroy their unconditional bond of parent and child.
i dunno peeps. i dunno.
i feel like this is my last opportunity to mend my relationship with my parents.
to forgive and forget.
but i can't.
and i feel guilty that i can't forgive esp coz they just spent a fortune to come and see me.
im trying to think of a way to relieve my guilt.
by making their limited time in the city worthwhile.
im trying my best to put my emotions aside and communicate with them in a civilized way.
you know one friend told me to grow the fuck up.
she knows what went down between me and my parents and she still told me to grow the fuck up. she didnt say i have to forgive them but to spend as much time with them.
good night peeps.
i need to recharge for another day with my insane parents.
im BACK!!!!
hectic month hectic month. craZy.
zillions of visits to the D.A.s office downtown, life living out of a bag at my girls cribs, disasterous work, very passionate boyfriend...
to finish that off, my parents flew in last weekend from JAPAN to come see if i was okay in the big city.
the fucked up shit is that they never called me to tell me they were coming!
the only reason why i found out was coz my mommy (not biological) called me and told me that she just helped my parents get hotel reservations. (she works at a major hotel in the city)
i was like "WHAT?! THEYRE COMING IN TWO DAYS AND THEY DIDNT EVEN TELL ME?????!!!!!!!!"
thats some fucked up shit right there.... damn....
now normally, i know i should feel grateful and honored that they care about me so much to come all the way around the globe when their daughter is in some deep shit.
but they have fucked up our relationship so deeply in the past, i can't feel thrilled to see them.
call me stubborn.
call me immature.
call me selfish.
tell me forgive and forget about the past.
but i feel there are some things parents should never do to their kids that consequentially destroy their unconditional bond of parent and child.
i dunno peeps. i dunno.
i feel like this is my last opportunity to mend my relationship with my parents.
to forgive and forget.
but i can't.
and i feel guilty that i can't forgive esp coz they just spent a fortune to come and see me.
im trying to think of a way to relieve my guilt.
by making their limited time in the city worthwhile.
im trying my best to put my emotions aside and communicate with them in a civilized way.
you know one friend told me to grow the fuck up.
she knows what went down between me and my parents and she still told me to grow the fuck up. she didnt say i have to forgive them but to spend as much time with them.
good night peeps.
i need to recharge for another day with my insane parents.
article10:
can't imagine what your parents might have done that you can't forgive them for. all i can do is relate. I have a similar F-ed up relationship with my dad ( who'se also big on flying out from calif to suprise me) and it's never entirely healed, and probably never wil. but I do know this for whatever it's worth. he's the only dad I have. and someday he'll be dead. and then I'll have no chance whatsoever to even attempt to make amends. and I think I would lose sleep over that.