akaflyrite

this is a fucking journal right? i don't want to bring anyone down but depression has been fucking with me for years now. i wish i could get out of that fucking cycle. i feel like i'm paralyzed sometimes.

can't afford counseling. seems like all my friends have their own shit going on now (families, kids) so it's not so easy to just call someone up and talk. i haven't had anyone new in my life in a while. i guess i just don't get out much and i don't trust relationships.

i'm going to visit my uncle tomorrow. he's dying of a lung disease. i've already had like four deaths in my immediate family in the last three years. seems like my whole life is crashing down sometimes.