But really tho. :(
I am sorry for my lack of updates. Winter has been trivial, emotionally and mentally. I've been working way too much, but am finally starting to creep out of this hole I made for myself. It's hard times out here, as I am sure a lot of you know. In spending so much time with myself, I reflected on just how much damage my past relationships have caused me....and damn. It's horrific. I'm not the person I used to be when I left the site three years ago. I am stronger in many other ways, but I have also been torn down to nothing and the rebuilding process is painstakingly long. Despite how sad panda all of this sounds, I do remain positive. Each day is a step in the right direction and I have my head on straight (that I DO know).
QUICK WINTER RECAP:
I worked (a fuck ton. I even went two full months without a single day off. But guess who is debt free now?!)
I danced with my friends
I did drugs (alcohol, weed, MDMA, acid)
I cried (a lot) and spent a decent amount of time caught up in my own head.
In an effort to keep myself in the present moment, I got a library card, so I can finally get back into reading. Something positive I can do with my free time that I can enjoy indoors or out. I have a great list of books on amazon that I am interested in.....some self help, some memoirs, some about sexuality, etc. My goal is to at least read one book a month. Small, I know, but for someone who couldn't even keep her attention on a book long enough to even open the damn thing, I feel pretty good about it. Other positive things I have been doing are spending more time dancing (at home or out), eating good food and trying to cook more, and really digging deeper into my friendships. I can't tell you just how much spending one on one time with my friends has really helped keep me focused and in a good state of mind.
Here's something to look at.
My latest set hits Member Review in about a week. I'm not quite sure how the process works these days, but leave it some love (comment on how badass my bedroom is, talk about my butt, etc) and maybe some magic will happen and it will make front page.
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I've kinda dropped off the social media bus lately, but if you can't get enough, you can find me in these other places:
Snapchat: Babytrancepdx
xo,
Aj.
