Sigh...
I took a random drive to the ocean yesterday. I needed to expel all of my negative energy into the ocean. I had an epiphany due to the passing of Elsie, life is too short. One must never take it for granted and rather than living in hopes of becoming something, you should do what makes you happy now. Live for now, not for the future. Unfortunately, what I miss I cannot have at the moment, so I must push myself forward. But god, it was so heartbreaking. I cried all night Monday until I fell asleep. Went to yoga Tuesday, then right after took off for a drive to the beach. I let all of my worries by swept out to sea (at least I hope). I drove home refreshed, but once I actually got home, I felt sick. I miss the love of my life so much. He was perfect, but we both knew I needed to grow up on my own. We still dated, but recently I told him maybe we shouldn't date. Biggest mistake. It's so hard having him only as a friend. I know that when all is said and done, I want to be with him. Who knows if that will happen now. So much of my life, me, is in the air. A forceful turning point that at the moment, I'm not thankful for.
On the plus side, it was a beautiful day at the ocean.
I guess today makes for a personal me day as well. I didn't go to my classes like I know I should have, Rather, I just sit here, trying to figure my next escape. I wish they weren't so expensive. That and I have the most gnarly, unappreciative cramps a woman could ask for.
So I sit here, defeated mentally and physically.
******************
I do have one thing to look forward to within the next
I took a random drive to the ocean yesterday. I needed to expel all of my negative energy into the ocean. I had an epiphany due to the passing of Elsie, life is too short. One must never take it for granted and rather than living in hopes of becoming something, you should do what makes you happy now. Live for now, not for the future. Unfortunately, what I miss I cannot have at the moment, so I must push myself forward. But god, it was so heartbreaking. I cried all night Monday until I fell asleep. Went to yoga Tuesday, then right after took off for a drive to the beach. I let all of my worries by swept out to sea (at least I hope). I drove home refreshed, but once I actually got home, I felt sick. I miss the love of my life so much. He was perfect, but we both knew I needed to grow up on my own. We still dated, but recently I told him maybe we shouldn't date. Biggest mistake. It's so hard having him only as a friend. I know that when all is said and done, I want to be with him. Who knows if that will happen now. So much of my life, me, is in the air. A forceful turning point that at the moment, I'm not thankful for.
On the plus side, it was a beautiful day at the ocean.
I guess today makes for a personal me day as well. I didn't go to my classes like I know I should have, Rather, I just sit here, trying to figure my next escape. I wish they weren't so expensive. That and I have the most gnarly, unappreciative cramps a woman could ask for.
So I sit here, defeated mentally and physically.
******************
I do have one thing to look forward to within the next
And that, my friends, is this:
Holla! Look at those fucking titties just achin' to get out of that bra. I'll let you all in a lil secret...they do! I can't wait for you to see it! I had such an awesome time shooting with Sawa in Ohio! So hopefully all of you will enjoy it!
*************
For those who have already purchased prints, I just ordered them and I will mail them out to you soon, I promise!
Timid at life,
Ajilee
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
Indeed on one thing to looking forward is your set
Shame on you keeping the girls in so long!