aj_paradiselost

me too. i want to know what your doc is putting you on. many of the newer antidepressants have really nasty side-effects. if you get anxiety attacks, the best thing really is a benzo. klonopin or valium or xanax.... klonopin is longer lasting and therefore less addictive - it just sort of keeps your overall level of anxiety down a bit. i take the xanax only when i know i just can't handle a situation without having an anxiety attack or when i'm having a fucking anxiety attack. some meds are useful. some are very not. (as someone who has taken psych meds of one stripe or another for about half her life, i think i can say that with some authority.) so yeah, i'm worried about what your doc is giving you.

and i'll try to remember never to touch your leather. ;o)

i'm on shit.. you know that though.. just hope she doesn't put you on effexor... shit did nothing to me but give me the shakes and headaches.. and the first day off it.. i went into major fucking withdrawl. i hate meds. i'm supposed to be on way too many of them but i hate it. i hate that i live in a world where i have to take pills to be normal.. its bull.

anyways.. i luv ya and i'll talk to ya later.. hope your holiday went ok

i dunno i kind of enjoy being chased.
i'm an aggressive girl tho... chasing won't be an issue.
oh but i'm not from dirty jerz, i'm from philly.

as for the music...it's not that i think modest mouse is terribly deep. it's that isaac brock can easily capture certain moods of frustration and loneliness without the whininess of bright eyes type music. that's all.

dude, you totally cracked me up with that - who the hell would not know who Clapton is??? oh, and yeah... fortune teller - money well spent. ;o)

i just caught the santa-day spirit a few minutes ago. i do love decorating and having a tree and burning the Yule log on Yule, of course. i needs to get me a Sinatra Christmas compilation. Well, I've got a Pinola (my best friend, Sam) Christmas compilation - some funny shit on there - well beyond Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. I'll be alright. no, i don't believe in santa or jesus (although i'm pretty sure the latter actually existed. for that matter the former did too, but not at all in the form the mythology takes) but i like the smell of pine and i love holly and i really like being able to give a gift that someone will really dig. i like fire in the fireplace and hot chocolate and cookies and just the general festivity of the season. i don't like shopping malls. i'm rambling in your journal again. brian needs a thing. i go.

have a good one sweetie..
Have I told you how much I love opinionated men.. well I do..

yea.. i get what you're sayin. i'm working on accepting myself.. not being accepted by others.. i think.. i hope.. i dunno.. weird week.. ttyl

er go bananas!

time is, time was, time will never be.

my post from today (yesterday - but i've not slept yet, so to me, still today) was about time. time and space and god. the concept of god. sort of written as god. i think god is bad at rhyming. or maybe, when i get to thinking particularly seriously about something, i rhyme poorly just to lighten it up.

there are buddhist monks who meditate on corpses left open in the air for the animals to take.... they watch them change, like bananas, only a little more to my taste. ;o) me and the macabre.... only it's not macabre. it's how things work. it's what happens to everything in time.

AJ .....the whole thing about the distillers for me ne way is the passion of the music, and the music is just so raw, her lyrics are fucking amazing and ive seen them live once and its like the whole vibe she gives off almost like fuck u cuz im doing wat the hell i want... and shes kicks butt.. i think there one of the only newish bands that you could call punk-rock.. u should def check them out download the songs Hall of mirrors and City of angels

im sorry to hear about that but im sure she loves you, i hate it when ppl get into relationships and forget about how to have amazing convo and it all becomes way to comfey like wheres my slippers and pipe.. my heads all confuzzzed about wat i want to do with my life everyone seems to be soo restless at the moment i blame it on being winter... i never have ne energy in the winter and im always so tierd maybe a holiday away will give you the time to think and maybe even make her realise wat shes not doing .....

love pretty kitty xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was thinking in March of visiting Sexysadie in Vancover, I also wanna hit the new casinos in niagra Theres tons of shit to do so once I get things straight with sadie I'll let you know more. It looks like the 2nd week of march like a Thursday-monday kinda deal. but I'll let ya know .. take care sexy he beast.
Howl at the moon for me.

I know i feel the way its like we havent spoken in forever.. i need my hot Aj fix now!!!
Things are going okay I guess theres alittle drama but nothing I cant handle. When are you usually on IM? I'll try to make it a point to come on when your on so we can chat,
Hope today is good for you if you work.. Kisses to you sexy he beast,

Happy Humpday!

thank you for the compliment

i'm sorry for anything that happened hun.... love you hopefully we can talk later. you know i'm here for ya through whatever youre goin through. *muah* feel better sexay!

heheheh fuck bush but i lurve u! x x x

wats u been up too? x x x

SHINE DARKEST STAR



WITHOUT

LIGHT

I

AM