aj_paradiselost

i am entirely too lazy to have to come all the way to your page to comment, fucker!

anyway, uh, gay bars are the best. except if you're a straight boy they may not be, but if you're secure in your sexuality i guess it's cool because you can just tell the homos that you don't want to suck their cocks. haha. am i a bad lesbian?

so, classes. i'm trying to graduate by august, so i'm doing all the bullshit classes now. i've got american history since 1877, perception, history and systems of psychology, philosophy of modern science, and statistics. hella fun.

and the depression is more... bipolar disorder. i've just got the depressive phase going on right now. my manic phases are more hypomanic and don't last very long at all. the depressive phases last months. chalk it up to genetics. i thank my father everyday for this gift he's given me.

fuck. i'm so tired and i have to work at four. i don't want to wait on evil fuckers all night.


-d.

i'm stubborn like your friend Thorn - but not such a lightweight! and i'd have taken your money - probably... maybe? idunno. actually, probably not. emotions get the best of us all. some might say that emotions ARE the best of us all. we are emotional beings.... and yeah, sometimes that sucks.

i can never turn billy idol off either. first music i ever came to... sweet sixteen is probably the lamest idol song ever, but... wow. good memories.

i have been howling with Maity the past several days....

thank you for always understanding. even when i don't write much of anything, you get me. i can't tell you how much that means to me.

i wonder what your post-vacation entry will read like... have a blast.

hello aj,

this is for you: fuck fuck fuck shit fuck goddamn fuck shit fuck your mom fuck suck my cock.

i cuss a lot too!


-d.

You fucking bastard! What? You said to call you one.

Hey sweetis sorry i havent been around much so much shit has been happening I havent had a chance to get on here as much as Id like.. Anyways Im glad to hear you got a singer for your band.. i guess your not going with the sisterinlaw or family member .. At least looking at it this way when people come to see you it wont be for a set of tits its for his cvoice and your band,. Congrats baby Hope everything else is going well for you.. I miss you.

"So, been rocking the ganja lately? I"m sure you have, hardcore wench. Anyway I'lll talk to ya soon. I'll write you an ode babeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm working on it as we speak."


I'm not so hardcore since I cracked my dome-piece last month. I haven't had any of the green for over a month!

I look forward to reading your ode. I love the way you write with no inhibitions, so it should be enlightening to say the least.

By the way, your current journal entry describes my life to a T. Sans drugs, unfortunately. I need to find an alternative method to fight the depression!

let me just say, Fuck Yeah!

Well, you are insane, but that's one of the things I love about you. You cannot be caged...you are a wild beast.

i'm laughing my ass off - and man did i need it! thank you!!!

ya know, i just looked at your pics again... haven't in a while... and you're pretty fuckin hot yourself. thing is, i have a hard enough time not drooling at the pic on your profile page, so i just don't tend to explore further... ;o)

you want to know how i am. more fucked up than usual. things are talking to me. whispering. calling. and i need to go. i just don't quite know how. plus i'm sick - so going anywhere would be difficult. i'm thinking it's an inner-space thing though and not a physical place that is calling. *sigh* the call of the wild.

honestly Aj, i've no idea what's wrong with thinking such things. i think 'em and i jot 'em down. i don't get stuck trying to kill my own desire or anything. i might think about the buddhist take on the idea or some other such thing.... but that's really just how my mind works. this is not a morbid thought. this is simply a thought. the nature of existence. i think about it. i know you do too. pondering can happen while living. you just get all of my ponderings in here, and not my life. the living mer is more.

p.s. thank you for bothering to think on what i say. i do appreciate it. deeply.

hum. i hadn't realized the top of the cotton candy machine looked like a bed pan. two things of delight staring into shit.... wow. i just thought it was a nifty picture of an old fashioned cotton candy machine. i've yet to try blue, you know. i could explain in detail, but it would take an actual conversation - so i'll save it. oddly enough, it's about the cold comfort and making the most of each day - in a very tangible way.

have fun with your friend Stephanie. she is fortunate to have you in her life - and i'm sure you're just as fortunate to have her in yours. friends matter. a lot. thank you for being one to me.

Is this the friend that was living with you?
Rock on with ya bad self sweets. I would love to live under you and hear you jamming out at any moment.. thats what rockstars do!
Happy Monday!

HAPPY NEW YEAR MATE X X X