aj_paradiselost

Hello dear..
I don't think she's minding me talking to you so much anymore. She gets it that you're just a friend. Thanks for bein cool with her on the phone. I'm really trying to build a tougher skin.. not so sure its working but I"m kickin my ass trying. This is about her though, not about me, so I need to keep telling myself to just do what she needs me to do and not reflect my attitude towards my own depression on her and her struggles. We'll be ok. She'll be ok. I just gotta try and realize its not me. Its not my fault and there's nothing I can do to make it all better for her. I just gotta try and be here with as tough of skin as I can muster to help her out. It's making me realize how much I love her.

Anyways... hope your weekend full of work wasn't too horrible. I love ya and I'll talk to you soon I'm sure. later hun...

awwww, thanks!

Ha can I say that you are the first black man that I have been attracted to in years. HA. I would so fall in love with you if you werent already attached. I really hope I dont offend you with that comment but I think you will get it. Really get what I am saying.

you hit the nail on the head!

wolf down the pasta... i hate to break it to you, but wolves don't generally go for pasta. ;o) (i'm being a goober - did i do well?)

Gotta love Chef Boyardee. I've done ballet for nine years or so and I've recently picked up ballroom...it's just what I do. we're all pirates!

A couple of hours? How long does one game take???

Thanks for your cheering on.
I just slept for an hour or two, and luckily that helped.
The pain in my back is almost gone now.
Yeah it's a lot of work and stress, I'm really looking forward to getting the new home ready, but the stuf before that!!!
I forgot it it was so much hard work, and it's not even a year ago since we moved here and it seems like ages...

Thanks for the comment on my pics. I wish you could meet me at the concert in a few weeks.. but I understand. I convinced her to let me get GA tickets at least, so we won't be sitting down like usual, we'll be in the huge crowd. lol. Sorry ya gotta work tonight, you know I'll be here thinkin of ya. She's here til the morning, its a fucking blizzard outside. ANywho.. you know you loves ya!!

I want a jukebox in my house. That would rock. Too bad they are you know $1000's of dollars. I wanna know how the outing went with your girl? spill the dirt

A new Pantera album? I thought they split up or something????

I AM!
Yeah it is Today I'll do some more packing and sorting of things that can be left behind.
It's nice to have something to do as well.

Hahaha bit clumsy innit?

ok I'll respect that, after all I AM a closet Neil Diamond fan...sssshhhhhh! don't tell anyone.

lol, ohhh dear. waxing hurts less babe and at least your skin won't freak out afterwards. Thanks for the compliment on the pics. The one you put up for your profile is my fav of the ones you sent me. I looked at it quite a bit the other night Anywho... Crissy's been over this weekend.. so I'll have to just talk to ya later. I love n miss ya!!

I am not real big at screaming metal. And cookie monster shit. That is just me. I like my music a little more melodic and I love vocals and lyrics. That is the best part of the song to me. Yes those lyrics were great but I have never listened to a Kittie song and understood what the fuck that bitch was singing about. Everyone has their thing. That is what makes all unique. You are something.

Well well well.. someone's feeling quite photogenic today. Nice pics dear. Hey.. speaking of pics did you check out the few I added to my random pics? I had a new shirt and necklace on and felt kinda decent looking.. I think you'll like. Anywho.. hell yea I know who loves me when she's not around. haha.. When I got off the phone with you she was like, "he calls you BABE?!?!?" and I was just like.. you told me to pick up my phone, I was just gonna let the voicemail pick it up, and besides we're just friends. It took her a few minutes to recoup, but her emotions were all the fuck over last night anyways. Anywho... I loves ya muchly. And I love the pics. Can't help it.. you're just a hottie.

ttyl hun.

<3 your pretty penny

Kittie? Ok. Well I won't judge your music and you won't judge mine and we will be all good. LOL.

I'm not fuckin whipped you fucker. My weekend.. Lets just put it this way... I started drinking at 8pm on Saturday then we went out with her motherfuckingbitchassho ex-gf. She ignored me.. which is good for her. I can't count the number of times I blew smoke in her face cause she's repulsed by smoke. Fuck her. I stopped drinking probably at like 4pm on Sunday after the hockey game was over. Yea, lol. I took my coffee with Bailey's right into that fuckin game. Crissy was a lil nervous about me smelling of Bailey's and I told her I didn't fucking care. She convinced me to stay there last night (ok, maybe I'm a lil whipped) and I ended up getting mad and sad and all that fucking shit and crying most of the night. Drove home this morning listening to NIN "Broken" album so loud my ears are still ringing. It woke me up though, and maybe it let out some aggression.. I dunno. It's one of their louder cd's (at least in my opinion). I smoked more cigarettes this weekend than I think I ever have in a three day period. But I don't fucking care. I cut myself Thursday, and I don't fucking care. Basically.... I wish that I could've just driven out to Lancaster fucking PA and left my current life behind. But we all know that's not gonna happen real soon, so... whatever. I love ya. Sorry for bitching just now. I'll ttyl hun.

<3 me.

ps.. at least I looked fucking hot Saturday night.. and today actually.

I dunno really, I'm not that good at labelling music :S

Ah, my bf says they play more like, Electro EBM and Techno music.
Quite danceable, that's the most important, but it's a weird place, don't think I'd go there again.

You look like you're completely about to crash in your pic. Its all good though. I'm planning on going out to Canada tonight and having a good drunken time. I guess we're planing on going to some immature/hiphop/bump-n-grind type of shit straight club with a few of crissy's roommates. I told her I don't care where we go as long as it's in Canada so I can drink. And when I drink I like to make out... so she might have to take me to a gay club, cause she won't kiss me or let me grind with her in a straight one. Which I just think is fuckin stupid. Who the fuck cares if a few ppl look at us? Straight girls make out with each other too when they're drunk. But neways.. yea.. really hoping to get trashed. And I really want a new fuckin tattoo. Not sure where to get it though... I love the ones that go up the side of your body and follow your curves... but.. I don't really care for the curves I have there.. I think I might put "Quod me nutrit mi destrui" (I'd find the correct spelling for it of course) It's latin for that which nourishes me destroys me. Lemme know what ya think. I love ya.. and I'm off to watch some hockey today, so I'll probably be callin ya, or maybe I'll call you trashed tonight if I can get away from crissy at all. ya know who luvs ya

<3 me