Yeah, I heard about dimebag Darrell being shot and all. That is such fucking bullshit. The Mainstream is trying to steer everyone towards this hip hop, you gotta live like P Diddy and weigh as much as Paris fucking Hilton to be anyone. The mainstream is a group that needs to be pissed on. The point is the world lost a great musician, Thrasher, Metal pioneer. Nowadays all you need to do to make a fucking band is get a drum machine and a synthisizer to make music. No instrumental talent required. Fuck all that and fuck the mainstream. DimeBag Darrell will now never grow old and fuckers like me will probably be cursed to live forever. Anyway enough of my fucking ranting.............L8er.
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my last entry spoke nothing but the truth. an actual event in my life.
what caused me to open up? i am very fortunate to have someone very close to me.... someone who wants to know me that thoroughly. and once that particular door was cracked open, i just had to get it out.
i have to say - i love that you get me. that you get what i write and that you can see the layers to it - though that one was a simple recounting of the event.
so i put it out there, didn't save a copy for myself and am trying to move beyond it. sounds like a good plan - if only it were so easy. i dare say you'll be seeing bits of that pain in whatever i may write for a good while. but hey, that's what the writing is for - so i don't spend so much time with it running around in my head! but now i have to face this and it's not as simple as i had hoped and yet it's simpler somehow. it just is. my emotions though - they're all over the place. i don't even have words for them yet. i can say that i'm really glad i'm not dead though. wow. i mean it.
[Edited on Dec 11, 2004 8:54AM]
things are awesome and i thank you for your support.