Idk y i blog here other than some place to put out my thots i guess.
So this week-week n a half have been interesting. emotional roller coaster type shit going on in my life. I guess i whine way to much, i mean compared to where my life has been in the past this shit isnt even that major, but wot can i say im a wimp.
My ex emails me idk how many times a day begging me to come back. and honestly, i should want to, but i dont. She broke up w/ me, shattered my heart, and i feel like shit still. I'm so scared to open my heart up at all cause i really dont think i can afford to have my heart broken like that again.
Which is great segway into my next point. I cant say i "met" this girl cause we had a casual relationship up till this point. But we actually went out and spent some time together. And ill be honest i suck, thats not a i need sympathy i suck i just do. Meaning, i suck at those first date kinda conversations. I just feel akward and uncomfortable, and well a loser lol. I went out w/ this girl, and i had none of that, and i was scared up till i picked her up. I was comfortable w/ her, and that seriously nvr happens for me. m not saying im head over heels for her, its just kewl that we clicked so well right off, my brother even said we just had a kinda 'clicking' going on, and he knows that nvr happens w/ me. Thing is she's done w/ her skooling here soon, and she wants to leave colorado, which hell i do too. I guess im stuggling w/ whether she even wants to pursue nething, or if i should try. I dont want her to feel tied down here, and i dont wanna get too emotional involved cause im scared of another 7 months of my life having this love, and then it just ripped away from me.
Theres a few other things i wont get into, but one that has really affected me more than i ever thought would is the death of Michael Jackson. I'm not saying omg im a major fan how could this happen. But he was a childhood hero at one point. I wished i could be dance and be kewl like he was. I remember this oooooold MJ arcade game my bro and i used to play. I just feel like society lost some1 so important, some1 that influenced so many people across multiple generations. I mean yea he had his flaws no doubt, but he IS the reason music is the way it is. I dont think there is ne1 who has influenced society more that him these last 50 years. I dont know maybe im being silly but its just the way it seems to me.
so for vidoes ill pay homage to MJ w/ one of my favs (its a shortened version) nullThriller
And heres just a song thats kinda how im feeling i guess The Veronicas Everything I'm Not
neway if u read tnx laters
Ryuu
So this week-week n a half have been interesting. emotional roller coaster type shit going on in my life. I guess i whine way to much, i mean compared to where my life has been in the past this shit isnt even that major, but wot can i say im a wimp.
My ex emails me idk how many times a day begging me to come back. and honestly, i should want to, but i dont. She broke up w/ me, shattered my heart, and i feel like shit still. I'm so scared to open my heart up at all cause i really dont think i can afford to have my heart broken like that again.
Which is great segway into my next point. I cant say i "met" this girl cause we had a casual relationship up till this point. But we actually went out and spent some time together. And ill be honest i suck, thats not a i need sympathy i suck i just do. Meaning, i suck at those first date kinda conversations. I just feel akward and uncomfortable, and well a loser lol. I went out w/ this girl, and i had none of that, and i was scared up till i picked her up. I was comfortable w/ her, and that seriously nvr happens for me. m not saying im head over heels for her, its just kewl that we clicked so well right off, my brother even said we just had a kinda 'clicking' going on, and he knows that nvr happens w/ me. Thing is she's done w/ her skooling here soon, and she wants to leave colorado, which hell i do too. I guess im stuggling w/ whether she even wants to pursue nething, or if i should try. I dont want her to feel tied down here, and i dont wanna get too emotional involved cause im scared of another 7 months of my life having this love, and then it just ripped away from me.
Theres a few other things i wont get into, but one that has really affected me more than i ever thought would is the death of Michael Jackson. I'm not saying omg im a major fan how could this happen. But he was a childhood hero at one point. I wished i could be dance and be kewl like he was. I remember this oooooold MJ arcade game my bro and i used to play. I just feel like society lost some1 so important, some1 that influenced so many people across multiple generations. I mean yea he had his flaws no doubt, but he IS the reason music is the way it is. I dont think there is ne1 who has influenced society more that him these last 50 years. I dont know maybe im being silly but its just the way it seems to me.
so for vidoes ill pay homage to MJ w/ one of my favs (its a shortened version) nullThriller
And heres just a song thats kinda how im feeling i guess The Veronicas Everything I'm Not
neway if u read tnx laters
Ryuu