aisuryuu

*deep breath* okie dokie. so i have had a very eventful past couple weeks, some good, some not so good, and i made some big life changing descions. IDK, some of this is a really big deal, so if u read this ty so much for your imput, it means a lot .

well i guess i'll start with the bad cause, well i'd rather end on good news lol. so for the bad i'm not taking to my mother. i dont really want to go into details. its just been a rough go lately with her, and everything kinda finally fell apart. it was a long time coming, we have never gotten along really well (mostly cause we are both damn stubborn, and the fact that im too much of an "individual" ). so i'm not talking to her, and she just yells at me if she gets the chance. the other not so good thing, really didnt come as a surprise to me. i tried to tell my dad about my depression (for the first time since i've known). and i pretty much got a :its all in your head and u are full of shit." granted my dad doesnt know all the details, but still, i guess his support meant more to me than i realized. my parents arent all that open about that kinda stuff. so i guess that this is a road i have to walk without their support.

ok, so heres the big choice i made in my life. *WHEW* i am leaving colorado. which might not seem like much, but i was born and raised here. all my family is here, and everything i know is here. i am hoping to be out of here by the end of july. this is something that has been a long time in coming, and just the path my life has been taking me on, i decided it was time for a change. where did i decide to move? well its one of my fav places in the world, oregon. yep i know it might not make sense to u, but it does to me. i used to spend summers out there with my grandparents and i have always loved the scenery. i am either going to live in tilamook on the coast (which im actually not to keen on cause i am soooo tired of the small town atmosphere). the good thing about tilamook is that i have a house i can stay in for the time being, and it would more than likely be free. but my number one choice is portland. i want the big city, i crave the new and different, and i just want to start fresh. i have started looking at apartments on the net, and i am hoping i can find something i can afford. plus it is time ryuu went back to skool and started doing something with his life rather than running a night crew at a grocery store.

ok now for my good news . So i met the most amazing girl. i dont connect with many people cause to be honest i am a pretty gaurded person. i have a few people that i consider friends (which is not a word i throw around mind u), and a lot of aquaintances. neway this girl and i have really hit it off. i havent met many people in my life that i can be comfortable and be myself with, and she is one of them. i dont want to give out too many details, but i will have pics up asap.

so thats all i got. thanx for taking time to read this like always i have a lot to say and most of it probably comes across as giberish cause im to lazy to proof read lol. neway, i will talk to u all soon with updates . and here are a couple bands im listening to right now.

this is bullet for my valentine with all these things i hate (revolve around me):



i love this song, its one of my favs right now.

heres norma jean with blue prints for future homes:



im really starting to like those guys.

neway thanx for stopping by, and sorry for talking your ear off. take care ttyl.

ryuu