So to be honest, i thought i wasn't gonna have time to "blog" at all for a while, but i was wrong (what else is new lmfao). My insomnia would be driving me insane if i wasn't taking stuff to help me sleep (melatonin) and having a little to much to drink on the side.
I stopped taking my "herbal" anti depressants last week(casue i think they were making me a little manic), and honestly i thought i was actually doing good for once. And then at work satuday night i had this massive "attack" i guess is the best thing to call it. I haven't been sleeping much, i have no appetite, and i'm trying to do my job as well as my bosses in 6 and 4 hours shifts (which i normally had 6 and 8's just to do mine), and i'm working 7 days a week.
So my boss (she is also my closet friend) stopped by before the store closed, and we were just talking. I was telling here how bad things were as i was walking her to the door, and i pretty much lost it. It was all i could do to keep from breaking out in tears (and if u knew me well u would know that i very rarely let my emotions show, especially saddeness). My knees went weak, and i just wanted to curl up in a ball in a corner somewhere and sob. I mean that has never happened to me before. And i won't say what i did and struggled through at home *sigh*.
I honestly don't know why i feel the urge to come here and spill my guts out to; for the most part complete strangers lmao. But i guess since there is kinda that barrier there it makes it easier. Neway, i hope u all had a great st paddy's day, and enjoy the rest of your week take care all ttyl.
ryuu
I stopped taking my "herbal" anti depressants last week(casue i think they were making me a little manic), and honestly i thought i was actually doing good for once. And then at work satuday night i had this massive "attack" i guess is the best thing to call it. I haven't been sleeping much, i have no appetite, and i'm trying to do my job as well as my bosses in 6 and 4 hours shifts (which i normally had 6 and 8's just to do mine), and i'm working 7 days a week.
So my boss (she is also my closet friend) stopped by before the store closed, and we were just talking. I was telling here how bad things were as i was walking her to the door, and i pretty much lost it. It was all i could do to keep from breaking out in tears (and if u knew me well u would know that i very rarely let my emotions show, especially saddeness). My knees went weak, and i just wanted to curl up in a ball in a corner somewhere and sob. I mean that has never happened to me before. And i won't say what i did and struggled through at home *sigh*.
I honestly don't know why i feel the urge to come here and spill my guts out to; for the most part complete strangers lmao. But i guess since there is kinda that barrier there it makes it easier. Neway, i hope u all had a great st paddy's day, and enjoy the rest of your week take care all ttyl.
ryuu
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_holden_:
You aren't the only one who spills their guts on SG lol I definetely take part in that as well. Hang in there my friend. There has got to be brighter days ahead...at least that is what I try to tell myself. Take heart in the fact that you are a fantastic, caring, and sweet guy. There aren't many of those left so don't be down on yourself. I think you are great!!! 
mayhem:
Maybe you need to let it out a bit! Sometimes I find supressing sadness makes it worse later. At least you had someone there to be with you. I