aislin

I waste toooo much time on here. It's not that great, it's just a place I can always think of to go while I'm wasting my life away on the internet. Seriously, the internet is my evil. I could be reading or writing or working out or ANYTHING more productive than going online, but here I am.....ugh. *lame* I need a time limit. A STRICT time limit.

Blehh all I want to do right now is bitch.

I have a feeling that watching movies before bed (or TV, whatever) will help me get to sleep, and that sudoku before bed probably contributes to the difficulty I have getting to sleep.

I need to finish my spec script tomorrow. ARRGH!

It'd be nice to have a boy to hold. Alas, the only attractive boys around here are taken.

I was going to go dancing tomorrow, but I don't really want to. It was mostly support for a friend's birthday but right now I'm kind of annoyed at her, so there goes my reason for going!

I want to watch Twin Peaks.

I really need to start thinking seriously about my future. In that, I cannot take school as being school - my assignments should not just be some dumb shit I HAVE to do... from this point on every film/video project needs to be work, and any paper I have to write needs to be useful for me somehow. I feel like I've wasted twenty years already when I have friends who've been working on films since high school, who write regularly and who make actual films when we have our stupid fucking projects. Ohhh the nerves; I'm going to end up crying. Sometimes it would be so much easier to give up and be a secretary...

I can never fix myself - inside or out...and I'm a failure because of it. What's ridiculous is that I know I've been this way for EIGHT YEARS already...nothing is different than when I was twelve.

Good lord. Maybe tomorrow I'll post something about clothes or a stupid celebrity or some other shallow thing, but I can't do it tonight.