I don't know how i've even managed to survive. If i wake up one more night with an anxiety attack, I don't think i will. I hate drugs, I pity users. I hate what they've done to everyone i know, I hate how i've become a joke to people i've known for years. fuck you.
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That being said, perhaps checking out the writings of Marcus Aurelius would frame shit in a way that might make dealing with it more bearable. Good luck with that.