I've been feeling particularly fat and disheartened lately, so I decided to buy a bodystocking for when Brian gets here in a week.
Hooray. Hopefully it fixes my mood. I think I just need to get laid. lol.
Well, no. That's not it. It would be nice to talk to him considering we haven't spoken at all in a week now. I wonder sometimes if we even belong together. Not because of him or anything he does - but because of me.
Most of the time I look at him and I wonder, "What the hell is someone like you doing with someone like me?" Then I watch stupid movies (like Sideways...okay it was an excellent movie, but this part was stupid) that say fat girls must be so grateful when they get laid. I wonder if that's how he feels about me.
I know it's not. Fuck, in the two years we were apart he wasn't with anyone else. Is that why we're back together? Because he wants to get laid? Why the fuck can't I just trust that he loves me?
Crappy night. Oh well. At least I have a cute bodystocking.
Hooray. Hopefully it fixes my mood. I think I just need to get laid. lol.
Well, no. That's not it. It would be nice to talk to him considering we haven't spoken at all in a week now. I wonder sometimes if we even belong together. Not because of him or anything he does - but because of me.
Most of the time I look at him and I wonder, "What the hell is someone like you doing with someone like me?" Then I watch stupid movies (like Sideways...okay it was an excellent movie, but this part was stupid) that say fat girls must be so grateful when they get laid. I wonder if that's how he feels about me.
I know it's not. Fuck, in the two years we were apart he wasn't with anyone else. Is that why we're back together? Because he wants to get laid? Why the fuck can't I just trust that he loves me?
Crappy night. Oh well. At least I have a cute bodystocking.
pinkokitty:
I'm a little jealous of your bodystocking, actually. I bought one a few years ago, and the crotch (well, crotchless bit) hung about halfway down my thighs. One size fits all, my ass. Glad that yours fits, though...those things are HOT!
akirali:
I would say something, but you already know what I would say. I know it's hard to do, but thats the tought thing about love, just trusting blindly. From what you've told me about him I think he's worthy of your trust.