aikaterine

I had to write a profile piece of someone with an interesting job for my feature writing class. I picked a Wal-Mart greeter. Anyone with any suggestions, I'd appreciate hearing them.

Thanks

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Don Lucas smiles for $7 an hour. He flashes his stained, crooked teeth and waves as customers pass through the sliding glass doors. As people walk in, the heaters overhead cant stop the chill from the wind gusting inside. His blue cap barely covers the tips of his ears, his gloves are torn at the fingertips and his professional shirt has been worn so often that the collar is falling off.

He welcomes folks with, Howdy, and as people shuffle out, he chirps, Have a good day. Thanks for coming in.

But when theyre gone, the 67-year-old Wal-Mart greeter purses his lips and sighs.

People dont need this junk in here, he lamented. I see the poor people who come in with their shoelaces dragging, and Id get thrown out the door for saying this, but Wal-Mart doesnt care about them. Wal-Mart and their 4,700 stores dont care about anyone.

He said he works for the Whore of Babylon, and after three years as a part-time smiler, hes kept the job only because he hates staying home and has a dog to feed.

Greeters are one notch above child molesters and killers, he said. People dont stick around for very long.

There are always new faces coming and going, and from the time theyre hired until they leave, Don notices a change in them.

When I look into their eyes, theres something different about em when they leave, he said. Maybe its because they work like mules and dont get credit for it. Then theyre fired for looking at someone the wrong way.

While Dons kept his job through the years, hes had his run-ins with the big dogs upstairs. Friday nights are the worst, when carts are flying all over the place, kids are crying, people are bumping into each other fighting for the lowest price and Dons just trying to keep a smile on everyones face.

Last Friday, a young girl shoved a cart into me during all the commotion, he said. I told her, Young lady, we got to train you early. Can you push that cart over there? Her mom shot me the evil eye.

He apologized after she complained to a manager, but still doesnt understand what all the fuss was about.

That mom must sit at home and think about all the different ways she can go into town and ruin a persons day, he cackled. I guess she cant piss her husband off anymore because hes probably dumber than she is.

For the most part, Don keeps his cynical observations to himself, and is proud to make other people smile, whether hes getting paid or not.

Hes hysterical friendly and funny, said Beth Bowers, who has worked with him for three years. He finds something about everyone to make fun of, and you just have to roll with it.

During the summer, when Bowers was dating a night-stocker, she found herself the butt of Dons joking quite frequently.

Don would tell me, I saw your man leaving the store with some blonde-haired chick. You better watch out for that dude, she said.

Even Don himself isnt safe from his sharp tongue and bizarre humor.

I spent 12 years in prison, and Im on the FBIs 10 Most Wanted list, he joked unconvincingly. Just last week I tripped up an old lady with a shopping cart. The Big Guys took me out back and beat me with the rubber hoses for that one.

Laughter and humility are the solutions to most problems, and Don said thats why he jokes the way he does. And when all the joking is said and done, he doesnt ask for much in return.

Just smile back.