aidan

I feel......so..........shitty.

I'm having to suffer for something I didn't even do, but no one will believe me. This has just been stressing me out so much, along with money issues. For the last few weeks, Franki (my girlfriend) has been accusing me of cheating, and I have no idea how to make her believe I'm not. I mean there's no actual proof that I've cheated, but there's no proof that I haven't either. So how do I prove it? And everything just seems to be working against me, making it worse. Like the other day, she found some girls sweater in my room. Now I seriously have no idea who's it is or why it was in my room. Also, I haven't really been paying enough attention to her lately, which makes me even more suspicious. I really have no idea why I pay less attention though. I think what it is, is that we're together all day every day, besides when I go to work, and I'm just used to her being there all the time. I don't mean to do that. There's little things I do that set her off all the time, like when I forget something she said or did. It's not that I wasn't paying attention at the time, I just simply forgot for some reason, which is really bad because sometimes it's things that are very important to her, like her dog.

What I want most right now is for her to believe me that I'm not cheating. This is the only journal I have that she doesn't read. The reason I'm writing in this one is because if I wrote it in one she does read, she would just think I'm making it all up in an attempt to make her feel better, so I'm writing it here to get it out.

God that must have sounded all whiny and emo-like. I'm never down like this. I'm pretty much always in a good mood and for the most part I enjoy my life. It takes alot to bring me down. This is the first depressing thing I've written in a long time. I hate being like this. And I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to let it out. I think there's only a couple people that might read this anyway.

I just want everything to be okay.