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aidan

Rifle, Colorado (yes the town is named after a fucking gun)

Member Since 2004

Followers 48 Following 54

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Friday Aug 13, 2010

Aug 12, 2010
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Case 1 on this website shows the procedure I got. Basically my fingertip is sewn to my palm for the next couple weeks. It's terribly uncomfortable. Have I mentioned I'm right handed? Yeah, all this happened to my right hand, so now I'm stuck doing everything with just my left. Yes, this includes typing this blog. General living has become quite a challenge, as I live alone, so I have to figure out how to do everything by myself. Oh, the frustrations!

Two days before my accident, my lady friend and I agreed to take a break from eachother. We had talked before about how a possible break might be a good idea just to make sure we really can't stand being apart, before we do anything serious like move in together, and there's a lot you can learn about how you feel about someone when you take some time apart. I didn't expect her to spring it on me so soon, though, so I definitely wasn't ready for it. The break is more for her than it is for me, though. I've known how I feel about her for the last two years, and I've had enough breaks from her to know that my feelings will never change. She just has a lot that she needs to figure out. I just hope she ends up back with me when this break is over. Honestly I'll be very hurt if she doesn't. I've been very patient with her. I've stuck around through all her ex's BS. I've always respected the fact that she was never ready to commit to me, but never stopped trying in hopes that she would be ready one day. I've always treated her like a girlfriend even though she wasn't, because I know that she liked it. I know her ex stuff is the main reason for her not wanting to commit, but that has finally gone away, and I guess I thought that when it happened, I'd finally have my chance, but I still don't.

This break is supposed to last for two months. I sure hope she figures out what she needs. There's a new guy she's been hanging out with lately, and I kinda have a feeling he has a little bit to do with her wanting this break so suddenly. I didn't think anything of it at first, but a couple Fridays ago I went to her house that night after she had been hanging out with him. When I came inside, she seemed nervous and uncomfortable. I didn't say anything, but this behavior told me that something had happened before I came over. I don't think she slept with him or anything, but I'm almost positive there was some making out going on. I've been cheated on a million times, and that's always how they act when first seeing me. Not that it would be cheating in this case, but still, just as hurtful. I could be completely wrong, and I will keep my mouth shut about it, but now that we're on this break, I'm pretty sure she'll start seeing this guy, if she isn't already. I just don't think it's fair, after two years of trying my ass off, for someone else to get that chance I've been waiting so patiently for. But, who am I kidding? I'm really not boyfriend-material. The few times anyone has ever admitted to being my girlfriend, it never lasted more than a few weeks. I should probably start trying to get over her now.

I think the combination of me being newly, officially single again and the frustration of trying to do everything after losing my finger is making me feel more alone than I ever have. Sorry to sound so depressing. I never let any of this out in person, so I feel better just writing it where most of my friends don't read. If I make it through these 2 months, I'm gonna be a stronger me. It's going to be one of the most difficult periods I've had.

More Blogs

  • 08.20.10
    1

    Friday Aug 20, 2010

    I think the only way I'm going to feel any better about anything, is …
  • 08.15.10
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    Sunday Aug 15, 2010

    Heartbreak is something I honestly didn't think I would have to exper…
  • 08.13.10
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    Friday Aug 13, 2010

    Man, life sure has taken a sudden flip-flop. It was only a couple wee…
  • 08.12.10
    0

    Friday Aug 13, 2010

    Case 1 on this website shows the procedure I got. Basically my finger…
  • 08.09.10
    3

    Monday Aug 09, 2010

    Read More
  • 08.07.10
    3

    Saturday Aug 07, 2010

    I cut my damn finger off. Christ.
  • 08.03.10
    0

    Wednesday Aug 04, 2010

    *sigh* Another step back. If I take any more, I might fall off a c…
  • 07.08.10
    0

    Friday Jul 09, 2010

    Damn, I took a picture of my lady friend on our vacation last week, a…
  • 06.29.10
    0

    Wednesday Jun 30, 2010

    Things are going pretty good. I finally got a whole weekend off, whic…
  • 06.24.10
    2

    Thursday Jun 24, 2010

    It's been a really tough week. I've got a lot on my mind, and no one …

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