aidan

Every time I start to feel good about something, I start feeling guilty for feeling good, which ends up making me feel bad again, if that even makes sense. I could be doing so much, and enjoying life, but I don't do it, all because I feel guilty about it. What the hell is wrong with me? Actually, I know what's causing it, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. It's someone very close to me. Someone with severe emotional problems. I've been trying for years to make this person feel better about theirself, but nothing works. Every day it gets worse, and it's dragging me way down. I'm at a point right now where I can't do anything at all, not even normal every day things, like take a shower or go to a different room or go outside, without worrying so much that I am going to upset this person, because that's usually what happens. This causes unbelievable stress on my part. I don't even know how to show emotion anymore. Actually, I don't even remember the last time I felt any kind of emotion. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help this person. I never give up on anything, but I'm starting to think that giving up might be the best answer, but if I give up, what's going to happen to them? I care too much about this person to just let anything bad happen to them. At the same time, I need to make myself happy, but I can't be happy when I'm so worried all the time. I don't know what to do.