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ahnhell

Bowie, MD

Member Since 2009

Followers 208 Following 139

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Thursday Jan 28, 2010

Jan 28, 2010
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The following is a conversation I had with a friend of mine this evening, explaining what happened to me a few hours ago.

Truth be told, I am either so bereft I'm delusional, or I spoke with a ghost. Regardless, i feel a little more at peace so either is just fine with me.


This is under a cut, it's a long explanation/conversation.

I'm shadow white, my friend is JJ blitz.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

shadowxwhite
basically. LOL poor J is gonna be irritated. death... is.. in some cases. almost amusingly just as annoying as life.
because it is omniscience (sp?)
without the corporeal body to be able to do anything about it
you can see everything. you see your own point of view. and EVERYONE ELSES.
you can see your wrongs and your rights. truly
and everyone elses.
all knowledge. very little you can do about it.
so in essence as opposed to escaping your problems early. ... you're forced to deal with them
jjblitz
really? ew
shadowxwhite
without a backoutplan
not always
some people have very little to resolve
like your grandad
or my grandma
people who die on gods time
not on their own
jjblitz
ok, i can see what you mean.Ew for that man
shadowxwhite
I was uneasy because i felt as though he didnt die on Gods time, unfortunately i think i'm right.
so i told him. that he.... just like all of us still on this side of the veil. will have to come to terms. with how he died.
jjblitz
uh, yeah
shadowxwhite
so that sucks. but... in essense.
he needs to forgive himself. and he will. somehow.. have to get it across to those who love him. that ... well.
even einstein couldnt tie his own shoes
geniuses make mistakes.
even
jjblitz
it sucks.especially for the type of person to run and hide from their shit, that really double sucks
shadowxwhite
He was a smart boy, but we're so dissapointed in his mistake. and so is he.
oh yea it does.
but even geniuses make mistakes
jjblitz
ewwww, I dun wanna dothat
<<<<is never gonna die
shadowxwhite
very intelligent people can still make really stupid decisions
LOL
jjblitz

shadowxwhite
isnt it pooo?!?! hahaha but
so thats really it.He was like the cat i barely missed that crossed the highway this morning
fucking cat ran across the rode i had to slow down and swerve not to hit it
but it made it
and its my metaphor.
normally J was the kind of guy who could judge how far to go
in this case
he severely misjudged his distance. he didnt give himself enough wriggle room to dodge the situation.
It was.. his greatest mistake.
jjblitz
evidently so
shadowxwhite
but in the end like i said. even einstein couldnt tie his own shoe. smart people make mistakes.
so.
he will have to come to terms with his death and his mistake. like everyone else.
he now SOMEHOW gets the lovely task of trying to help his loved ones come to term with this.
jjblitz
again, ew
shadowxwhite
lol he'll figure it out
maybe when he's done with that. he can finally go.
jjblitz
that super blows, you know.Worst punishment ever
shadowxwhite
but he's going to have to wait it out like the rest of us. on Gods time.
in some cases its a punishment i guess it could be seen that way.
i iknow i wouldnt be terribly excited
jjblitz
are you freaking kidding me?It's a total punishment.I'm sure there are worse things, but ew!
shadowxwhite
But that's what happens when you dont die on Gods time
death apparently, is just as irritating as life
lmfao in some cases
jjblitz
You tell that fool i didn't know him, but I'll pray for him too
shadowxwhite
most certainly.
so now i feel like.. im at peace with this. and i think he is too. now that he understands what .. what this is.
and why he wantedme to pray for him. and it explains the uneasiness.
jjblitz
yeah.I hear ya. and it makes sense
shadowxwhite
i just. i told him that the people who loved him truly. were not the people he put on the makeup for you know? if you loved J. you loved him for the fucking nerd he was. LOL. not for the posturing
he postured a lot and i still dont know why he felt the need to do all that
the people who loved him, really were fucking irritated with that side of him.
people who loved him did so for the moments when he was down to earth, booknerdy political buff j.
jjblitz
people often go through life devaluing their own self worth
shadowxwhite
yet another thing he'll have to come to terms with
he looked really good though. he was just regular J. not all glammy rockstar J.
so... that was our conversation.
i feel a lot more at peace with this. im still terribly sad i wont get to hang out with him like we used to.
but.
jjblitz
i'm glad you found some resolution, and that you both know what's up now.
shadowxwhite
and im sad at this mistake. it was truly a misjudgement. it seems. regardless of if it was purposeful or not. it was a mistake and a misjudgement.
yea. im glad. he seems... more restful already. to me.
So.. im either so completely bereft that im delusional or.... that really just happened.
jjblitz
lol, you'll be ok
shadowxwhite
i suppose so.
but questioning my sanity is a little annoying.
self questioning.
LOL you can question it all you want
jjblitz
stop questioning your sanity
its ok
shadowxwhite
cool
good
LOL it'll have to be
its the conclusion ive come to. im sticking with it
12:45 AM
until something better comes along



surreal

silvermoon:
Thanks Anh!!!, from HELLLLLLGRRRRRR!!!!!
XoXo
<333
Jan 28, 2010

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