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agonistes_vental

Orlando Fl

Member Since 2009

Followers 191 Following 197

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Friday Jan 08, 2010

Jan 8, 2010
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Hard to wake up and realize what comes during this cold day,seems like things in time,in the weather,in the nature of this planet is changes,I feel it close to heart and spirit.I'm so tired,so weak,and wondering what will become of me.I just don't know what will come from the nights to fall,I know that I have to move for I talked with my father about me staying and working but he wants his house to himself and no one to stay,which leaves me in a bad situtation for I cannot stay here and the only place I have left to go is my mother's and I am not allowed to go back and stay due to my step father not liking me,other than that Idon't have anyone else,so I am just at a loss for words.I haven't seen myself in a sitiuation like this in a long time,do I deserve it,or repent the thought of me giving up?I am just so damn tired I want to sleep and not wake up,which is unlike me,I am frustrated about not being able to go to my brothers,and now I have to worry about having somewhere to live,I don't have alot of family,not alot of friends,and on top of that I am really sick,soujnds like a fun old time I guess,part of me wonders if it's all worth it.I've fought for so damn long to even live a day of the week,but now with me being wounded I fell like lettign those wolves tear at me,I just dont know anymore.
I keep listening to "Stand By Me" to find comfort in those words,of hope and friendship yet I look around me and those that are close to me are in my heart,and those I am honored to know are many miles away.And there are none here,but I suppose it is a function for me to be this way alone even if the skies fall,Each day draws closer to that darkness,and I fear that even I cannot climb out of it,even thoguh I hurt,even though I am tired,and most of all fightign the best I can,I want you to keo that I still have hope in all of you and that I love all of you,remember you are special and are very important.

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