agonistes_vental

I am quite down this morning.As yet another hour passes by and the darkness crawls back into the lost caverns of empty cups of coffee and tea,I sit and I think of all the things that have set into motion.I am quite tired but so alive my eyes they are weak and heavy but I post this as my last one for this morning.I have alot on my mind,so many things running and darting like a firefly in the stormy winds.I am quite irritated in very much a hated sense.For as few of you know I've arrived a few days ago back to my hometown,and I am staying with my mother.Yes I rather despise it but I must also learn and accept her wicked tougue.All night she's been drinking horridly and I've had to listen to her constant attacks on who I am,what,i am and howm uch of a loser I am.It's enjoyable.Hahahahaha.She damns my heart and feelings on life and even though she hates all that i love she proclaims to love me in some odd sense.It's taboo in many ways but its whatever.She's something else but I hate whe nshe sums me up and calls me a useless piece of shit.I mean you'd think she'd be proud that her 18 year old son has devoted his life to helping others,to go far and wide with his own items to help others in need.You;d think she'd be proud that I carry on whats been lost.
But sadly no I am nothing to her,and just useless lies to the world.I rather hate her when she drinks but like I say I'm used to it from her.I love her dearly for if it wasn't for her i would not be the man I am today.Cheers to abuse and suffering.II am proud to be me I jsut wish to get some respect for what I do.Hmmm quite sad not wishes someone would talk to me..But no one ever does.