aghori

"I would hang myself if it wouldnt kill me.!!!"

I hope that is enough to picture my frustration

Tired. Cant sleep. Feeling fine.
I love this state of mind. Everything seems to ooze its way on and on. Time never stands still. Time does not exist. It can be seen only in clocks. Everything should go according to sunlight and weather... So in Finland we need to sleep through the winter.... So valerian-extract and good night.... See you in March

Starting feel great. I baked some superstrong spacecakes... After I had baked them I ate three cookies and I totally freaked out!. I mean serious paranoia and panic attacks!!! I nearly called my friend to ask him "where should I go now for help?". Three is way too much. One is enough and two is manageable but hree is too much.... Too bad that I...
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Niin kauan kuin min muistan, minua on vituttanut. Ei se ett yliptn vaan vituttaa vaan se miten maailma pyrii. Vituttaa nlnht, vituttaa sodat, vituttaa selknpuukottaminen, vituttaa valehteleminen, vituttaa se ett mulla on liian lyhyt takki, vituttaa talvi, vituttaa se ett vituttaa. Muistan kun olin masentunut, sillon masensi kun vitutti. Nyt vitutuksesta saa voimaa. Se ei en ole kaiken tiell niin kuin se aikaisemmin vaikutti vaan...
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Winter depresses some people. I dont really get depressed, just bored cause most of my activities are outdoor hobbies. And I hate staying inside. I have a ganjagarden in my backroom which keeps me occupied so I dont lose my mind.
But I really have to move outta this town. I was going to move a few months ago but my "friend" really let me...
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Winter in Finland...
It's too wet to go and blow my steams out on a mountainbike so I am slowly sinking in the finnish mood for the winter...

I am getting too complicated even for myself to handle. Like a hallucination on LSD. That is how my life is meandering around now. I cant get focused on anything...

What is happening to me...



"Hitting bottom...
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I have beet"designing" a chestpiece for my self and yesterday i got an i dea...I was playin cards with my friend... I have the SuicideGirls playing cards and I found three cards with so cool art on them...
I am including art from those cards on my chestpiece.

I'll post a picture of it in the spring to see do you recognize the SuicideGirls on...
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6 degrees of separation.
I've noticed that world is a small place. So small that everyone is connected to each other by no more than six other people. But yet so big that no one can really find any other who thinks the same way about everything. Of course, everyone is unique so in this connecting web of unque individuals I see a jewel of...
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I need a fix. I was thinking about travelling to (I guess it was in) Indonesia to that place where they reenact Via Dolorosa and the crucifiction. I want to be cupped... I want to be suspended... And I want to be crucified.

And I want to be a misfit in Finland.

I had my nipples pierced for the second time and damn it feels good. The feeling after is like high on morphine. But it's endorphine. And I love it. too bad that I cant get third barbells in my nipples. But I recommend it to everyone who is into piercings. But it has to be done by two piercers at the same moment.

I've got two therapysessions scheduled now. First to my piercer, I'm going to get vertical nipplepiercing. Both nipples ath the same moment GREAT!
And about week after that I'm going to continue my sleeve to Speedo, who really can make awesome old school tats.

and then I knew it. I am addicted to pain and music. Both of them release endorphines and other "pleasurehormones". So far the best "natural high" I got when my nipples were pierced at the same moment. Everybody should pierce their nipples!