aghori

I's my birthday today. Am I going to celebrate it? No.Why? Because I don't want to. I've got 69 years left to live and celebrate. I am really happy, though. I have my health. I have kicked many bad habits. I have gotten many good habits to replace them. Life is awesome... At it's best it's unpredictable. My life is a great example of that...
Read More

I just realized that I am not depressed. The fact that I live in Finland is the reason for this what I am feeling. not depression. I can't remember when I have started to dislike Finland, so it must be long time ago. I have my health, my loved ones and my goal.

If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about...
Read More

Maybe I am depressed.

And my thoughts steer to the right
Different feeling and happiness. Weekend can do that. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. A severe one
Today was ok. Actually very good day. I like it that I can help. And to see the appreciation in someone's eyes. Sincere people among alienated or socially excluded people are a rare species. Drug addicts, or "substance abusers"...
Read More

It's fucking hot! I never thought that I could say in Finland without being in sauna. Really this is ridiculous I've been in India few times and this what I felt there... It's awesome. I love it. Lethargic from the heat on top of being nicely stoned most of the time. I hate my work. Need to get a new one. I am moving again...
Read More

Visions of rubber gloves and weird places... joyful happiness... satisfaction, extreme satisfaction... warmth within... constant smile of passion and enthusiasm with excitement... all this from music
I just got the new Front Line Assembly.. Improvised Electronic Device. Great music.. I can really hear these guys enjoying themselves when this was recorded. And that they have been doing music for a long time. Really love this....
Read More

Sorry, everyone... I am just frustrated now. Thus those angry thoughts. I am trying to mellow out now. See you soon, my love.

I have to get out of this crappy country soon. Again I was reading the newspaper and became angry!! Every day I bump into something that makes me more disappointed in this shit. FINLAND IS NOTHING FANCY, people!!!
Stupid people in charge, greedy motherfuckers pulling strings and lazy people who behave like lambs and never say anything about anything. Only thing good here is clean...
Read More

Feels great! I have so much energy now that I can really live this life as I am supposed to. Nothing in me has changed, I am still the gloomy, cynical asshole I normally am but the disappointment doesn't bother me. This disappointment in my home country, politicians are running this so called welfare state. Capitalist politicians really have fucked things up in the past...
Read More

Wow!. I built a small hut or a cabin (or what should I call it) with my uncle on the weekend. And my relatives gave me a piece of land at the lakeshore to build my own house there. I don't know how to feel now... Also I've started feeling that my agecrisis is over. Like a big monkey jumped off my back. My life...
Read More

It's so damn hot. I love it. I am going to the "country" tomorrow and I'm going to spend whole weekend there. I am going to see my cousins, my uncles and my living grandparents. And most of all I am going to swim. I'll spend most of the time in the lake because last summer I couldn't go swimming cause my hand was plastered...
Read More

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to live without emotions. When I was first time in India I had a thought rambling i my mind many times: "What have i done to deserve this" and I mean that what have I done so good that everything is going so smoothly and well... Never have I thought about the difficulties in my life the...
Read More