Anecdotes from the Life of Agent:
Wednesday morning on his way to work, the Agent decided to stop at 7-11 for some caffeine intake. He pulled up in his car with the windows down and the Misfits blasting, enjoying the day even though he did not get enough sleep. Standing outside are two girls that look like they just walked out of hot topic, dressed very similar in some failed attempt at punk. They look young, and despite the fact that they are both smoking he cannot help but think they are under 18.
As he steps from his car, black dickies button up undone exposing his fidel castro shirt and black cargo pants that are his typical work garb, the Agent is annoyed that they are looking at him like stray dogs and expects them to ask him for money. It is all too typical in communities like Birmingham and West Bloomfield that the offspring of the upper class pretend to be vagrants. Instead, the one with big eyes and emaciated cheeks says something about the misfits and flicks her cigarette. The other one concurs, and the Agent wants to poison their minds with propaganda but is really on a time restriction as he needs to slam a couple cans of red bull before work. He says yeah and walks by, and as he enters the store they comment about his tattoos.
When he exits and starts heading back to his car, they talk at him some more. He is irritated, turns around, and asks if they should be in school. They look offended, the one says she just graduated and the other says she dropped out. He smiles and says they will make excellent road kill and departs gets in his car. He decides to switch cds before pulling off, and listens to cannibal corpse the rest of the way to work.
The next day, the Agent takes his daughter to the park that is less than a block from the house. She is playing and having a grand time when he notices that the other parents are leering at him. He leans back and enjoys the moment, feeling proud of his daughter and loving being able to be a part of her childhood. The other parents are chatting and taking the moment for granted, barely aware that there offspring are there at all, or savoring in the knowledge that they can make the children feel dependant through stressing the obligation and sacrifices that they make for them.
Later that night the Agent goes into work to close the store as the closing manager has called off. He is there less than twenty minutes before a gentleman in a john deere shirt that has more beer stains than oil stains is standing at his service desk yelling at the pretty blonde girl who he wants to do impossible things for him. The Agent interrupts and attempts beyond requirement and to the best of anyone's ability to help this fine example of humanity, avoiding being offended by the smell of marijuana that eminates from him. After a few minutes the man insists that he is being mistreated and wants to speak to the manager. The Agent picks up the phone at the desk and dials the manager's extension, and the phone in his pocket starts ringing. He then quips in mocking tone that he almost forgot, he is the manager. This for some reason offends the man, and he goes storming out swearing vengeance and that he will spend his seventy thousand dollars at Home Depot next year instead of here at Lowes. The Agent thinks he might want to inform the man that he is actually at Home Depot, but decides against it, since the HUGE ORANGE SIGN outside should be enough.
Wednesday morning on his way to work, the Agent decided to stop at 7-11 for some caffeine intake. He pulled up in his car with the windows down and the Misfits blasting, enjoying the day even though he did not get enough sleep. Standing outside are two girls that look like they just walked out of hot topic, dressed very similar in some failed attempt at punk. They look young, and despite the fact that they are both smoking he cannot help but think they are under 18.
As he steps from his car, black dickies button up undone exposing his fidel castro shirt and black cargo pants that are his typical work garb, the Agent is annoyed that they are looking at him like stray dogs and expects them to ask him for money. It is all too typical in communities like Birmingham and West Bloomfield that the offspring of the upper class pretend to be vagrants. Instead, the one with big eyes and emaciated cheeks says something about the misfits and flicks her cigarette. The other one concurs, and the Agent wants to poison their minds with propaganda but is really on a time restriction as he needs to slam a couple cans of red bull before work. He says yeah and walks by, and as he enters the store they comment about his tattoos.
When he exits and starts heading back to his car, they talk at him some more. He is irritated, turns around, and asks if they should be in school. They look offended, the one says she just graduated and the other says she dropped out. He smiles and says they will make excellent road kill and departs gets in his car. He decides to switch cds before pulling off, and listens to cannibal corpse the rest of the way to work.
The next day, the Agent takes his daughter to the park that is less than a block from the house. She is playing and having a grand time when he notices that the other parents are leering at him. He leans back and enjoys the moment, feeling proud of his daughter and loving being able to be a part of her childhood. The other parents are chatting and taking the moment for granted, barely aware that there offspring are there at all, or savoring in the knowledge that they can make the children feel dependant through stressing the obligation and sacrifices that they make for them.
Later that night the Agent goes into work to close the store as the closing manager has called off. He is there less than twenty minutes before a gentleman in a john deere shirt that has more beer stains than oil stains is standing at his service desk yelling at the pretty blonde girl who he wants to do impossible things for him. The Agent interrupts and attempts beyond requirement and to the best of anyone's ability to help this fine example of humanity, avoiding being offended by the smell of marijuana that eminates from him. After a few minutes the man insists that he is being mistreated and wants to speak to the manager. The Agent picks up the phone at the desk and dials the manager's extension, and the phone in his pocket starts ringing. He then quips in mocking tone that he almost forgot, he is the manager. This for some reason offends the man, and he goes storming out swearing vengeance and that he will spend his seventy thousand dollars at Home Depot next year instead of here at Lowes. The Agent thinks he might want to inform the man that he is actually at Home Depot, but decides against it, since the HUGE ORANGE SIGN outside should be enough.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
hopey:
I sent out your magnet yesterday.
misshavok:
You have good taste in shit.