As is my want, I spent the weekend rooting around the garage, and found an old BMX. Last night, at a loose end, I took it out for a bit of a ride trying to recapture the taste of the old glory days when I was the undisputed ruler of the rough concrete track that passes for road round my gaff.
Disapointingly, It appears I have completely lost my bottle. I used to hare down that road at what felt at the time to be speeds aproximate to MACH 2, only to find that I now get a bit wobbly and nervous anytime I feel a bit of a breeze in my face.
I briefly considered that now that my legs are so much more powerful, now that I am a MAN, and therefore appallingly VIRILE and embued with near legendary STRENGTH, that I was accelerating myself to speeds much greater than I was able to achieve when I was a mere slip of a lad.
I was quietly pleased with that explanation until I remembered that when I used to hit the "Inexplicable Speed Bump" in the road I would get a good six or seven foot of road free travel before touching down on terra firma, where as now I tend to flinch and grab the brake*, limping over it like a geriatric attempting that dodgy first step outside the library.
I am justifiably appalled and sickened with myself, and have started rolling around on the salvaged BMX (which I have named El Turro) during my spare time, in an attempt to regain my glorious** past.
I am also perversely looking forward to the ineveitable spill that will occur when I push my luck that little bit too far, most likely when I attempt a "Busdriver". Expect pictures of my newly skinned elbows/knees/face/torso, with added value gravel!
*like all proper BMX, it has only one brake, which is ineffective.
**read as 'pathetic'
Disapointingly, It appears I have completely lost my bottle. I used to hare down that road at what felt at the time to be speeds aproximate to MACH 2, only to find that I now get a bit wobbly and nervous anytime I feel a bit of a breeze in my face.
I briefly considered that now that my legs are so much more powerful, now that I am a MAN, and therefore appallingly VIRILE and embued with near legendary STRENGTH, that I was accelerating myself to speeds much greater than I was able to achieve when I was a mere slip of a lad.
I was quietly pleased with that explanation until I remembered that when I used to hit the "Inexplicable Speed Bump" in the road I would get a good six or seven foot of road free travel before touching down on terra firma, where as now I tend to flinch and grab the brake*, limping over it like a geriatric attempting that dodgy first step outside the library.
I am justifiably appalled and sickened with myself, and have started rolling around on the salvaged BMX (which I have named El Turro) during my spare time, in an attempt to regain my glorious** past.
I am also perversely looking forward to the ineveitable spill that will occur when I push my luck that little bit too far, most likely when I attempt a "Busdriver". Expect pictures of my newly skinned elbows/knees/face/torso, with added value gravel!
*like all proper BMX, it has only one brake, which is ineffective.
**read as 'pathetic'
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
pinklady:
Monkey?? Cheeky, um, er....... 
poppystrike:
Shit. I'm past that point by at least 3 years now, Oh well. I guess I could freeze completely and become a snow-woman.