No one tagged me, I just fancied being an attention seeker.
1# I was set on fire when I was eight, during an hilarious petrol-related mishap on bonfire night. This gave me my first glimpse at my own mortality. I have been something of a risk taker ever since.
2# I was an amazingly gifted reader when I was younger. There was talk of moving me up a couple of classes, but I was also a little shit, so they didn't. I can read a standard sized book in about a day. Fear Me.
3# When I was 14 I read "The Bloody Chamber" and "The Sexual Life Of Catherine M" within three weeks of each other. I believe this has a lot to do with the sort of person I am today.
4# When I was eighteen I got into weightlifting. I didn't have a proper girlfriend for around about the next two years. I didn't care.
5# I had an insane love for Roald Dahl when I was younger. I feel immensely sorry for all the poor little fuckers who have to make do with Harry Potter and the Great Merchandising Franchise.
6# I take heavily after my mother. Although my freakish testosterone gives me boy-muscle and shit, I still have her delicate bird like bone structure. My wrists are skinnier than most girls.
7# As a book reading genius I read The Odyssey when I was very young and thought it was the coolest thing ever. It follows the story of Odysseyus, king of Ithaca, and his attempt to return home after the siege of Troy, whilst being tormented by the gods.
Cue Odysseyus fighting and shagging his way around the Med like a fat west ham fan on a club 18-30 holiday tour.
Meanwhile, back in Ithaca his loyal wife Penelope protects her honour from a swarm of lecherous and dissolute suitors. Doesn't get a sniff for years. Poor Cow.
8# Other Fictional Characters I thought were dead cool at a young age include Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood In the 'Dollar' Trilogy, John McLaine, Yojimbo, Lee Marvin in Point Blank, and Michael Caine in Get Carter.
Observe my models for a twisted sense of masculinity.
9# I was into Warhammer 40K when I was younger. I believe it served as a sort of social innoculation against further nerdery in later life. Sometimes though, I will walk past a Games Workshop and get wistful for the days when Space Marines mattered.
10# I am massively in favour of abortion, despite an occasional and vague suspicion that if my mum had been a bit more aware of her options when she was younger, I wouldn't be here. Women should be in control of their own bodies, Right On, etc...
11# People taking the piss out of Chavs tend to unsettle me a bit. I think it's nu-snobbery, and a lot of the time, when people say 'Chav', they just mean 'poor people'.
12# I'm actually deeply deeply embarrassed by my profile picture, but am too bone idle to do anything about it. I'm much better shape now.
13# The first Album (Vinyl) I ever bought (read as, 'begged my mum to get') was Michael Jackson's Bad album. Back in the glory days, when he was still prettty, and nobody thought he fucked children.
14# The first CD I ever bought was by Iron Maiden. I think it was one of the live albums. I thought Eddie looked cool. My criterea for buying new music has not grown any more sophisticated since then.
15# In the Bell Jar, the main character states that she is never being happier than when she is having a hot bath.
I am the same way with hot showers. I'm probably just a more active person than Sylvia Plath.
#16 If I ever find a girl who can beat me on Halo Deathmatch, she will instantly win my everlasting love and affection. But not if she mings.
17# I stoppped drinking after I consumed 14 double gin and juices (I was listening to a lot of Snoop Dogg at the time.) and blacked out. Apparently I went on to drink another four G&J's, went grey, and tried to strangle someone. Then I got hold of the ugliest girl in the whole school.
18# None of my current friends have ever seen me drunk.
19# The only blonde I've ever fancied is Margot Tenenbaum. Gwyneth Paltrow makes me want to stab TV's
20# I wish I could have been Genghis Khan.
1# I was set on fire when I was eight, during an hilarious petrol-related mishap on bonfire night. This gave me my first glimpse at my own mortality. I have been something of a risk taker ever since.
2# I was an amazingly gifted reader when I was younger. There was talk of moving me up a couple of classes, but I was also a little shit, so they didn't. I can read a standard sized book in about a day. Fear Me.
3# When I was 14 I read "The Bloody Chamber" and "The Sexual Life Of Catherine M" within three weeks of each other. I believe this has a lot to do with the sort of person I am today.
4# When I was eighteen I got into weightlifting. I didn't have a proper girlfriend for around about the next two years. I didn't care.
5# I had an insane love for Roald Dahl when I was younger. I feel immensely sorry for all the poor little fuckers who have to make do with Harry Potter and the Great Merchandising Franchise.
6# I take heavily after my mother. Although my freakish testosterone gives me boy-muscle and shit, I still have her delicate bird like bone structure. My wrists are skinnier than most girls.
7# As a book reading genius I read The Odyssey when I was very young and thought it was the coolest thing ever. It follows the story of Odysseyus, king of Ithaca, and his attempt to return home after the siege of Troy, whilst being tormented by the gods.
Cue Odysseyus fighting and shagging his way around the Med like a fat west ham fan on a club 18-30 holiday tour.
Meanwhile, back in Ithaca his loyal wife Penelope protects her honour from a swarm of lecherous and dissolute suitors. Doesn't get a sniff for years. Poor Cow.
8# Other Fictional Characters I thought were dead cool at a young age include Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood In the 'Dollar' Trilogy, John McLaine, Yojimbo, Lee Marvin in Point Blank, and Michael Caine in Get Carter.
Observe my models for a twisted sense of masculinity.
9# I was into Warhammer 40K when I was younger. I believe it served as a sort of social innoculation against further nerdery in later life. Sometimes though, I will walk past a Games Workshop and get wistful for the days when Space Marines mattered.
10# I am massively in favour of abortion, despite an occasional and vague suspicion that if my mum had been a bit more aware of her options when she was younger, I wouldn't be here. Women should be in control of their own bodies, Right On, etc...
11# People taking the piss out of Chavs tend to unsettle me a bit. I think it's nu-snobbery, and a lot of the time, when people say 'Chav', they just mean 'poor people'.
12# I'm actually deeply deeply embarrassed by my profile picture, but am too bone idle to do anything about it. I'm much better shape now.
13# The first Album (Vinyl) I ever bought (read as, 'begged my mum to get') was Michael Jackson's Bad album. Back in the glory days, when he was still prettty, and nobody thought he fucked children.
14# The first CD I ever bought was by Iron Maiden. I think it was one of the live albums. I thought Eddie looked cool. My criterea for buying new music has not grown any more sophisticated since then.
15# In the Bell Jar, the main character states that she is never being happier than when she is having a hot bath.
I am the same way with hot showers. I'm probably just a more active person than Sylvia Plath.
#16 If I ever find a girl who can beat me on Halo Deathmatch, she will instantly win my everlasting love and affection. But not if she mings.
17# I stoppped drinking after I consumed 14 double gin and juices (I was listening to a lot of Snoop Dogg at the time.) and blacked out. Apparently I went on to drink another four G&J's, went grey, and tried to strangle someone. Then I got hold of the ugliest girl in the whole school.
18# None of my current friends have ever seen me drunk.
19# The only blonde I've ever fancied is Margot Tenenbaum. Gwyneth Paltrow makes me want to stab TV's
20# I wish I could have been Genghis Khan.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
#9 applies in it's entirety to me too. Well done on making your facts entirely more interesting than almost anyone else who did them, including me.