agata

Its 1am. Or there abouts. Ive not bothered changing my watch or time on my laptop, so its just a guess-timate.

I can barely move.

Im fucked. Technally speaking. So now im lying at the end of my haggard ass bed trying to focus on the keys on my laptop.
Its too hot. My blood's too thick for Texas humidity, I think Jon is the only one whos not suffering at the moment. Im drenched too, my shirt's covered in a cocktail of sweat, beer and blood... It's been a good night.

The day's been hazy. Mainly due to jetlag, alcohol and the God awful heat, but the show went well. Although ive blown my voice out. So this was my last gig for a while. Ive been ordered to rest. Due to the circmstances I didnt really have a say in the matter. I ignored the warnings before and I carried on, now im fucked, its my own fault. Still... Ill be back... 6 months is gonna kill me though

I was pretty tame to night. I think anyway. I exploded a few times and crashed into the barriers/amps but all in all nothing really to write home about. The set kicked off with Hate Song and was duely greeted with a riotous reception according to Doug. I cant really remember to be honest so I cant really say alot other than I was a great atmosphere.

Everyone here it really sound and on the whole pretty friendly. Guys are more than willing to help out with equiptment, etc. After the show, the biggest fuck-off biker looking guy ive ever seen bought me beer and we hung out for a while. He asked for a picture with us, I swear to God he just dwarfs me. It'll look so comical when he gets them developed.

Nothing else has really been too eventful. We did a couple of interviews and small promo shoots, but my mind's been elsewhere...

Yep, you guessed it. A girl.

Im thousands or miles from home and all I can think about is her.

I havent stopped thinking about her since we first properly spoke a couple of weeks ago. Its kinda weird. Having feelings again. Ild numbed myself to everything for such a long time, but of recent more and more feelings are waking up, and slapping me in the face. I dont know if that makes any sense to anyone. But theres something there, for me at least, not just that kinda 2D feeling of just lust, its more than that. Her smile, eyes, laugh... I could go on but I fear digging a hole. I dont think I have a chance in hell, but thats not really swaying me at the moment. So its getting me down a lil.

What do I do?

This is all feeling kind of foreign to me again...