Now Im going to rant. Im pissed off and now Im gonna bore you lot with it!
You, know I just came across an old paper and in it there abit about how some fuckin' lowlife teenager beat up and left for dead and 86 year old woman. Luckly the police caught the asshole and he went to jail, but guess for how long... 3 fuckin' years! Is it just me or is this countries law system a crock of shit!? You know what I think? Bring back the death penalty! Come on, you've got no fuckin' excuse now forensics has come on leaps and bounds and lets face it at best the sanctity of life has become a more selective thing. We seem to get to choose which forms of life are sacred and we get to kill the rest. And dont you Jew's and Christians be getting on your religious high horse either! Where the fuck would you lot be without capital puishment, huh!? Yeah, now beat it!
So bring back exicutions, but im not talking about those soft, shitty lethal injections, im talking fuckin' crucifictions! Ha, yeah Ive got you Catholics interested now aint I!? But ill go a little further, Ild crucify them upsidedown, yeah like St Peter feet up, head down. And naked! Naked, upsidedown crucifictons on TV twice a week in place of the fuckin Lottery! Come on, you know it would be good! Wouldnt you wanna stay in an hear Dale Winton explain how earlier that day each set of nails were chosen at random by an indipendent ajudicator!? Come on, this is quality TV here! And I garentee, you start nailing up a few Burbery wearing Stella drinking thugs each week and you'll see the streets clean up pretty bloody quickly, I can tell you that!
Now I realise you're all diggin' this idea, yeah? Yeah. But we could also make some money from this. Now bear with me. I dont just wanna bring back crucifictions. I mean, come on most of you out there have the concerntration span of a goldfish, so i realise this would become boring after a few years. So...I say bring back beheadings too! But not the standard beheadings, they dont last long enough. Swing, squelch, thud, its all over...So on that note I think we should do them with.... a hack saw! Too much? Ok, how about a butter knife!? Yeah, and it would take a good goddamn long time too! How about slow motion, intant replay...? Not only that, but the heads should then roll down a big slope into one of many holes, which the general public can bet on. There you go, everyones a winner. Now we'ld proberly have to step this up a notch... We'ld have to dedicate a whole channel to this event! And of course we'll need sponsorship, and as we're killing people Marlbrough and Benson and Hedges would be more than happy to be involved.
See theres alot of good things we can be doing. When was the last time we burnt someone at the stake!? Theres something thats long overdue for a comeback. Yeah burning people at the stake...sponsor... British Gas! Yeah and instead of paying for the sponsorship they can just heat all those old peoples houses for free! Good goddamn idea! And put it on, on Sunday mornings! "The sunday morning Christian, send us an offering, praise Jesus human bonfire" You think that will get good ratings?...In this sick fuckin' world? Hell, you'ld have people skipping church to see this shit!
Ok, enough history lesson. We need some modern forms of punishment. Ah heres a ice idea. How about you shoot a guy out of a high speed catapult...right into a brick wall!? Oh, the kids would love it. Wouldnt really make for good TV though it would be over too quickly...You'ld have to a whole load of them in a row. Ah, now I know some of you are thinking about 'high tech'...well Ive got an idea. You take a small, tactical nuclear device...and stick it up their ass. Like a thermo nuclear supposatory...?
*sigh*
I wander if I could get a job with the government?...
You, know I just came across an old paper and in it there abit about how some fuckin' lowlife teenager beat up and left for dead and 86 year old woman. Luckly the police caught the asshole and he went to jail, but guess for how long... 3 fuckin' years! Is it just me or is this countries law system a crock of shit!? You know what I think? Bring back the death penalty! Come on, you've got no fuckin' excuse now forensics has come on leaps and bounds and lets face it at best the sanctity of life has become a more selective thing. We seem to get to choose which forms of life are sacred and we get to kill the rest. And dont you Jew's and Christians be getting on your religious high horse either! Where the fuck would you lot be without capital puishment, huh!? Yeah, now beat it!
So bring back exicutions, but im not talking about those soft, shitty lethal injections, im talking fuckin' crucifictions! Ha, yeah Ive got you Catholics interested now aint I!? But ill go a little further, Ild crucify them upsidedown, yeah like St Peter feet up, head down. And naked! Naked, upsidedown crucifictons on TV twice a week in place of the fuckin Lottery! Come on, you know it would be good! Wouldnt you wanna stay in an hear Dale Winton explain how earlier that day each set of nails were chosen at random by an indipendent ajudicator!? Come on, this is quality TV here! And I garentee, you start nailing up a few Burbery wearing Stella drinking thugs each week and you'll see the streets clean up pretty bloody quickly, I can tell you that!
Now I realise you're all diggin' this idea, yeah? Yeah. But we could also make some money from this. Now bear with me. I dont just wanna bring back crucifictions. I mean, come on most of you out there have the concerntration span of a goldfish, so i realise this would become boring after a few years. So...I say bring back beheadings too! But not the standard beheadings, they dont last long enough. Swing, squelch, thud, its all over...So on that note I think we should do them with.... a hack saw! Too much? Ok, how about a butter knife!? Yeah, and it would take a good goddamn long time too! How about slow motion, intant replay...? Not only that, but the heads should then roll down a big slope into one of many holes, which the general public can bet on. There you go, everyones a winner. Now we'ld proberly have to step this up a notch... We'ld have to dedicate a whole channel to this event! And of course we'll need sponsorship, and as we're killing people Marlbrough and Benson and Hedges would be more than happy to be involved.
See theres alot of good things we can be doing. When was the last time we burnt someone at the stake!? Theres something thats long overdue for a comeback. Yeah burning people at the stake...sponsor... British Gas! Yeah and instead of paying for the sponsorship they can just heat all those old peoples houses for free! Good goddamn idea! And put it on, on Sunday mornings! "The sunday morning Christian, send us an offering, praise Jesus human bonfire" You think that will get good ratings?...In this sick fuckin' world? Hell, you'ld have people skipping church to see this shit!
Ok, enough history lesson. We need some modern forms of punishment. Ah heres a ice idea. How about you shoot a guy out of a high speed catapult...right into a brick wall!? Oh, the kids would love it. Wouldnt really make for good TV though it would be over too quickly...You'ld have to a whole load of them in a row. Ah, now I know some of you are thinking about 'high tech'...well Ive got an idea. You take a small, tactical nuclear device...and stick it up their ass. Like a thermo nuclear supposatory...?
*sigh*
I wander if I could get a job with the government?...
dunno if you'd be interested