Ok, let me get y'all up to speed with the goings on of this week. Last week was quite frankly shite (so sorry if I havent got back to you or left you comments)! I lost my favourite hats, broke my mobile, my watch, felt really ill and been denied for 3 jobs 
Luckily this week was a vast improvement...
Thursday: Went to see Grand Master Flash!... Which was, to be quite truthful, the dogs bollocks!
...Despite the 2 1/2 hour wait for him to hit the stage, which he finally did at about 11:45pm! The whole show was basically a 2 hours plus, long lesson. Explaining how Hip Hop was born in the Bronx in 1971, its roots, Kool Herc and block parties. So, with this in mind what would expect to kick the whole thing off? A classic like 'Rappers Delight'? Something from it roots, maybe James Brown? Or possibly something like 'White Lines' from the man himself?...
Nope...
Phil Collins, 'Something In The Air Tonight' ...hmmmm
So about 1 1/2 mins later, and me still riding on a wave of humorous confusion, it fades out and gives way to a familiar beat of a snare drum...then something I would never, EVER have foreseen... 'Back In Black' by AC/DC...
Only 5 mins in I conclude that the night rocks more than Spinal Tap in a quarry and head into the crowd. The next couple of hours are a mix of classics, from De La Soul to Snoop Dogg with occasional surprises like Dee Lite, Bob Marley and House Of Pain. But by far the biggest shock of the night came when he spoke about the artists who are no longer among us, which at first seems to be pretty predictable, Hendrix, Scott LaRock, Tupac, Notorious B.I.G, Eazy-E, Jam Master Jay etc. Then he announces that "last but not least, one guy who left the earth way too fuckin' early... Kurt Cobain". Then before anyone has time to say "what the fu..." on comes 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and the entire room explodes, easily getting the biggest reaction of the night. It was pleasantly bizarre.
So what did I learn?
*Well, hip hop originated from the Bronx...
*Way back in 1971, apparently by Phil Collins.
*Grand Master Flash owns 'Back In Black' on vinyl!
*When push comes to shove, Kurt Cobain gets a bigger shout than Tupac at a hip hop gig!
Friday: Also rocked... Went out, got sauced, smoked 40 Luckies and received an exceptional grovelling apology from two dudes for something they said to me the week before after realising who I was.
Saturday: Halloween party baby!
Waking up ridiculously early I dragged my hungover self out of bed and got started on my last ditch effort for a semi decent costume. After settling on something Battle Royale esk I raided everyones wardrobes and tactfully 'borrowed' anything of relevance... long story short, 9 hours later I looked like this...
Now joined by Si, looking like a slightly camp Danzig we opted to drive to Birmingham opposed to spending 50 mins on the bus with pentioners.
So after a short car ride, erratic alcohol consumption and a hefty queuing (made slightly more bearable by massive intakes of amphetamines
) we finally got to the front. By the time we got searched and through the doors the drugs were in full effect and were leading us franticly around the club in search of friends, cigarettes and the drinks we were apparently owed. The journey was cut somewhat short when, after entering the toilets I was faced with a 7ft high, cursing, Brummy, Optimus Prime standing with his back to me at a urinal, fighting franticly with trousers. I was in awe! This dude had gone all out, and was clad from head to toe in what I assume was cardboard, perfectly painted red, blue and silver. I would later discover that the guy had been working on the thing for about 2 months!
The whole place packed out quickly and soon felt like a sauna. Full of vodka, redbull, whiskey and amphetamines I was beginning to tweek a little. I couldnt stay still, the collar was killing me and now, due to the increasing heat, the blood on my face began to run into my eyes.
This was more of a problem as I had used all the fake blood I had at home on my shirt and trousers, so in all my wisdom opted to use my own blood to finish my face and arms, I just hadnt banked on the place being so goddamn hot! Still, the night was fuckin' awesome...
*I witnessed Jesus and Satan getting kicked out by 5 bouncers for belting seven shades of shit out of each other!
*People I hadnt seen in months were generously pumping me full of alcohol and nicotine.
*I punched Homer Simpson.
*And I couldnt take more than 10 steps without people talking to me about my costume This had become progressively more regular as by 1am Optimus Prime had given in to dehydration and heat exhaustion and freed himself from his cardboard masterpiece.
All in all a cracker of a night
On a slightly weird note, I woke up Saturday morning having roughly finished the lyrics I had started the night before. But I have no recolection of writing anything down!
When she moves... and everytime she moves
I put a gun to her head
I click the trigger once, twice, three times and shes dead
Pools of blood on my shiney white plastic floor
And she says
I cant help it, you are a lie
You think I get to you?
You think it wouldnt get to me
She knows how to get to me
She knows how to get me riled
She knows how to make me live
When she crys...and everytime she crys
I put a knife to her face
I slash once, twice, three times
Pools of blood on my shiney white plastic floor
My plastic floor
And she says
When we go...
We go down
And right before everything she bails out and she moans
And when we go...
We go down...
Your trousers are torn and you're lips have been cracked
The scabs on your face have all turned to black
I think you're wasted
Its funny, Ive got you pegged
So down that whiskey you're drinking
And climb into bed
Snake eyes, black teeth, loose talk
And we dance
We sing
So far into the night
The soldiers lay down their flags and they bow
To the east
To the east they lay their calm
With my pencil...
I wrote you into my dreams
In the cold...
I melt into the sea...
Luckily this week was a vast improvement...
Thursday: Went to see Grand Master Flash!... Which was, to be quite truthful, the dogs bollocks!
...Despite the 2 1/2 hour wait for him to hit the stage, which he finally did at about 11:45pm! The whole show was basically a 2 hours plus, long lesson. Explaining how Hip Hop was born in the Bronx in 1971, its roots, Kool Herc and block parties. So, with this in mind what would expect to kick the whole thing off? A classic like 'Rappers Delight'? Something from it roots, maybe James Brown? Or possibly something like 'White Lines' from the man himself?...
Nope...
Phil Collins, 'Something In The Air Tonight' ...hmmmm
So about 1 1/2 mins later, and me still riding on a wave of humorous confusion, it fades out and gives way to a familiar beat of a snare drum...then something I would never, EVER have foreseen... 'Back In Black' by AC/DC...
Only 5 mins in I conclude that the night rocks more than Spinal Tap in a quarry and head into the crowd. The next couple of hours are a mix of classics, from De La Soul to Snoop Dogg with occasional surprises like Dee Lite, Bob Marley and House Of Pain. But by far the biggest shock of the night came when he spoke about the artists who are no longer among us, which at first seems to be pretty predictable, Hendrix, Scott LaRock, Tupac, Notorious B.I.G, Eazy-E, Jam Master Jay etc. Then he announces that "last but not least, one guy who left the earth way too fuckin' early... Kurt Cobain". Then before anyone has time to say "what the fu..." on comes 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and the entire room explodes, easily getting the biggest reaction of the night. It was pleasantly bizarre.
So what did I learn?
*Well, hip hop originated from the Bronx...
*Way back in 1971, apparently by Phil Collins.
*Grand Master Flash owns 'Back In Black' on vinyl!
*When push comes to shove, Kurt Cobain gets a bigger shout than Tupac at a hip hop gig!
Friday: Also rocked... Went out, got sauced, smoked 40 Luckies and received an exceptional grovelling apology from two dudes for something they said to me the week before after realising who I was.
Saturday: Halloween party baby!
Waking up ridiculously early I dragged my hungover self out of bed and got started on my last ditch effort for a semi decent costume. After settling on something Battle Royale esk I raided everyones wardrobes and tactfully 'borrowed' anything of relevance... long story short, 9 hours later I looked like this...
Now joined by Si, looking like a slightly camp Danzig we opted to drive to Birmingham opposed to spending 50 mins on the bus with pentioners.
So after a short car ride, erratic alcohol consumption and a hefty queuing (made slightly more bearable by massive intakes of amphetamines
) we finally got to the front. By the time we got searched and through the doors the drugs were in full effect and were leading us franticly around the club in search of friends, cigarettes and the drinks we were apparently owed. The journey was cut somewhat short when, after entering the toilets I was faced with a 7ft high, cursing, Brummy, Optimus Prime standing with his back to me at a urinal, fighting franticly with trousers. I was in awe! This dude had gone all out, and was clad from head to toe in what I assume was cardboard, perfectly painted red, blue and silver. I would later discover that the guy had been working on the thing for about 2 months!
The whole place packed out quickly and soon felt like a sauna. Full of vodka, redbull, whiskey and amphetamines I was beginning to tweek a little. I couldnt stay still, the collar was killing me and now, due to the increasing heat, the blood on my face began to run into my eyes.
This was more of a problem as I had used all the fake blood I had at home on my shirt and trousers, so in all my wisdom opted to use my own blood to finish my face and arms, I just hadnt banked on the place being so goddamn hot! Still, the night was fuckin' awesome...
*I witnessed Jesus and Satan getting kicked out by 5 bouncers for belting seven shades of shit out of each other!
*People I hadnt seen in months were generously pumping me full of alcohol and nicotine.
*I punched Homer Simpson.
*And I couldnt take more than 10 steps without people talking to me about my costume
This had become progressively more regular as by 1am Optimus Prime had given in to dehydration and heat exhaustion and freed himself from his cardboard masterpiece.
All in all a cracker of a night
On a slightly weird note, I woke up Saturday morning having roughly finished the lyrics I had started the night before. But I have no recolection of writing anything down!
When she moves... and everytime she moves
I put a gun to her head
I click the trigger once, twice, three times and shes dead
Pools of blood on my shiney white plastic floor
And she says
I cant help it, you are a lie
You think I get to you?
You think it wouldnt get to me
She knows how to get to me
She knows how to get me riled
She knows how to make me live
When she crys...and everytime she crys
I put a knife to her face
I slash once, twice, three times
Pools of blood on my shiney white plastic floor
My plastic floor
And she says
When we go...
We go down
And right before everything she bails out and she moans
And when we go...
We go down...
Your trousers are torn and you're lips have been cracked
The scabs on your face have all turned to black
I think you're wasted
Its funny, Ive got you pegged
So down that whiskey you're drinking
And climb into bed
Snake eyes, black teeth, loose talk
And we dance
We sing
So far into the night
The soldiers lay down their flags and they bow
To the east
To the east they lay their calm
With my pencil...
I wrote you into my dreams
In the cold...
I melt into the sea...
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
buchanan:
Don't worry about it it's NO big deal
mckenzie:
