agamemnon711

I'm lonely today. I don't have my daughter with me and she has turned into my world. I can't seem to separate myself from fatherhood to be able to enjoy myself as an adult. It gets lonely only having a 3 year old to talk to and interact with on a daily basis. I love my daughter and wouldn't give her up for anything in the world but I also hate that I'm a 24 year old single father that can't tear myself away from my daughter or even thoughts of my daughter. The only way I seem to be able to interact with others is if I am talking about my daughter. The only people I meet seem to be those on my computer which is better than nothing but still makes me feel like a loser.

I used to be so out going and care free. I could make friends and talk to new people at the drop of a hat. Now someone new says hi and it takes a tremendous amount of courage to even say hello. I don't like that I've become this type of person. It doesn't feel like I'm myself anymore. I even have trouble saying two words to my friends. I used to not care what people thought of me and was proud to be who I was. Now I am completely self conscious about myself. I barely think that I am attractive at all and when it comes to who I am I feel like a complete loser and uninteresting to those my own age.

I'm just really down on myself lately. I went to the closing of Catacombs (a local BDSM/goth club) and couldn't enjoy myself at all. I'm supposed to be going out of state for a Kinky luau in two weeks with the one person I can consider a true friend. I am hopping that she can tear me out of this rut that I've dug myself into but I don't know what is going to happen and scared that I'll end up like I was yesterday and not enjoying myself and end up putting a damper on the party.