aftermoon

catching up. w/ a friend and enemy. who could it be that is both at the same time? quite a few, but mostly one's own self.

catching up w/ yourself. most of the time, i feel as if i'm ahead of myself. as if who i am is stuck behind in time before what i am actually doing. as if it takes longer to AUTHENTICALLY live thorugh moments than to actually live through them. it's the feeling of having forgotten something you never really knew, but only had an intuition of - b/c you lived it but didn't REALLY live it.

this feeling of falling behind oneself is bothersome and annoying. sometimes this feeling goes away. then you feel as if you'd caught up w/ yourself. but it's only a feeling. may be not just a feeling, but also reality. may be not. but, a feeling, at the very least.

i had that feeling last night and it felt great.