Because I'm a lazy, uncreative bastard:
A miraculous thing happened to me the other night while I was driving home from a baby-eating contest. I was saved. That's right, I was done saved by a bumper sticker. The car in front of me had a sticker prominantly displayed on its bumper that read, "GOD IS PRO-LIFE" and instantly I saw the error of my ways, pulled over the car, and repented my sins. Oh, it was glorious. If only I had seen that bumper sticker sooner, I would not have wasted my life in such debauchery and hedonism.
But rejoice! For I am saved!! And after I save this entry I'm going to hit the town for some good old-fashioned anal sex. since, y'know, it's not techincally coitus, I'm scott free. s'all good, baby. I got this whole thing figured out.
People like to believe that art and creativity comes through freedom, which really is a nice illusion, but it's not always the case. Confinement and restrictions breed creativity and innovation, and in response, some/most creative people are just as close-minded, intolerant, and Nazi-like as the people and ideas they're speaking against. Can you think of an artist who didn't have strong opinions on almost everything? Even if that person's opinion is that he or she does not have one? Too much freedom, while sound nice, lacks focus or direction. Setting up parameters for onself, in other words, is a good way to challenge oneself, and may allow the creation of something that may never have been created if not for the self-created or even forced-upon restrictions. I, on the other hand, haven't written anything of short story length for a long time, so it's probably safe to say that I really don't have much experience to back up this claim. heh. But when you think about it, freedom, while it does have its place, does seem to lack focus, and restrictions can breed creative solutions and expressions. BLAH BLAH BLAH. "Go back to Germany you rule-loving Nazi."
Tonight I AM going out with Hannah and some other peoples. Tomorrow she's having back surgery for scoliosis, and she wants to have a good time before being put under the knife. And it's about fucking time, if you ask me. Uh, going out with people, not Hannah having surgery. I've been spending way too much time by myself, and I know who I am (have for awhile), and what I need is socialization. It astounds me how little I've actually done during my four years of college, and while I understand that youth is only the real time one has in order to have the leisure for study and intellectual broadening, I need to enjoy my youth while I still have it. NO, I DID NOT take that from Dorian Gray, but perhaps it would do this soul some good to acquire a few blemishes. I've been doing a shitload of reading (AND comprehending, yes), I've always gotten good grades, and of course I've been exercising, so my mind and body are just fine, thank you very much. It's socialization and wanderlust that's what's aching me.
What I want is to feel okay with everyone and not have to deal with bullshit, loops, games, or over-analyzing. I have no expectations and I just want to be able to relax and be with someone and not feel like I'm there solely for entertainment value or that I should fill silences with words during the time when words really aren't necessary. and that the absence of words is not a bad thing. I want to feel comfortable. and even awkward silences are comfortable. that's what life fucking is. discomfort. you just gotta act like it's okay. because ya know what? It is.
Thus ends the act of plagiarism of MYSELF.
A miraculous thing happened to me the other night while I was driving home from a baby-eating contest. I was saved. That's right, I was done saved by a bumper sticker. The car in front of me had a sticker prominantly displayed on its bumper that read, "GOD IS PRO-LIFE" and instantly I saw the error of my ways, pulled over the car, and repented my sins. Oh, it was glorious. If only I had seen that bumper sticker sooner, I would not have wasted my life in such debauchery and hedonism.
But rejoice! For I am saved!! And after I save this entry I'm going to hit the town for some good old-fashioned anal sex. since, y'know, it's not techincally coitus, I'm scott free. s'all good, baby. I got this whole thing figured out.
People like to believe that art and creativity comes through freedom, which really is a nice illusion, but it's not always the case. Confinement and restrictions breed creativity and innovation, and in response, some/most creative people are just as close-minded, intolerant, and Nazi-like as the people and ideas they're speaking against. Can you think of an artist who didn't have strong opinions on almost everything? Even if that person's opinion is that he or she does not have one? Too much freedom, while sound nice, lacks focus or direction. Setting up parameters for onself, in other words, is a good way to challenge oneself, and may allow the creation of something that may never have been created if not for the self-created or even forced-upon restrictions. I, on the other hand, haven't written anything of short story length for a long time, so it's probably safe to say that I really don't have much experience to back up this claim. heh. But when you think about it, freedom, while it does have its place, does seem to lack focus, and restrictions can breed creative solutions and expressions. BLAH BLAH BLAH. "Go back to Germany you rule-loving Nazi."
Tonight I AM going out with Hannah and some other peoples. Tomorrow she's having back surgery for scoliosis, and she wants to have a good time before being put under the knife. And it's about fucking time, if you ask me. Uh, going out with people, not Hannah having surgery. I've been spending way too much time by myself, and I know who I am (have for awhile), and what I need is socialization. It astounds me how little I've actually done during my four years of college, and while I understand that youth is only the real time one has in order to have the leisure for study and intellectual broadening, I need to enjoy my youth while I still have it. NO, I DID NOT take that from Dorian Gray, but perhaps it would do this soul some good to acquire a few blemishes. I've been doing a shitload of reading (AND comprehending, yes), I've always gotten good grades, and of course I've been exercising, so my mind and body are just fine, thank you very much. It's socialization and wanderlust that's what's aching me.
What I want is to feel okay with everyone and not have to deal with bullshit, loops, games, or over-analyzing. I have no expectations and I just want to be able to relax and be with someone and not feel like I'm there solely for entertainment value or that I should fill silences with words during the time when words really aren't necessary. and that the absence of words is not a bad thing. I want to feel comfortable. and even awkward silences are comfortable. that's what life fucking is. discomfort. you just gotta act like it's okay. because ya know what? It is.
Thus ends the act of plagiarism of MYSELF.