I wish I had a dad. Someone, plain and simple, who would take care of me, take me to the zoo, enroll me in classes, someone who would watch over me and be supportive without expecting anything in return. Someone who could just take care of me right now and help me get my life together. No emotional blackmail, no bullshit. Just straight-up, hands-on kindness. 'Cos I'm just a kid and I need someone who will listen to me without threatening me with repercussions. Someone who will be there.
I want to paint pictures and learn how to act and do all sorts of fun, simple things. I don't want people saying mean things to me all the time simply because I fell in love. And now that person's dead and it just gets worse.
That's why I watch stupid programs like MacGyver and Stargate and wish Richard Dean Anderson were my father. Just a nice guy who'll look after me as long as I need him to and help me get back on my feet. Take me out of this hole and drag me out to do nice things during the day, eat an ice cream, go to the bookstore, help me clean my house, etc. Because I'm not strong enough, not right now.
I want to paint pictures and learn how to act and do all sorts of fun, simple things. I don't want people saying mean things to me all the time simply because I fell in love. And now that person's dead and it just gets worse.
That's why I watch stupid programs like MacGyver and Stargate and wish Richard Dean Anderson were my father. Just a nice guy who'll look after me as long as I need him to and help me get back on my feet. Take me out of this hole and drag me out to do nice things during the day, eat an ice cream, go to the bookstore, help me clean my house, etc. Because I'm not strong enough, not right now.
Moreso though, I just wish I could give you a hug. I think about you often. I wish I had faith in something, because then I could say "you're in my prayers." But my thoughts are all I can offer. They're yours though.
What a beautiful post. I have just read your entire journal after finding you in the Crushers group.
You can borrow my dad...he doesn't actually *do* anything much other than watch TV, but he means well.
Hope you're OK. Sending you hugs and love and support from Brooklyn.